And I Rise [1] (Supernatural)

Hᴏᴍᴇ Sᴡᴇᴇᴛ Hᴏᴍᴇ || Fɪᴠᴇ

He jolted awake, sitting up in a cold sweat and gasping, a confused expression pulled on his face.

"Bad dream?"

He turned to me where I sat on the chair, hugging my legs close to my chest. He tipped his head, then looked to Dean snoring next to his bed. Sam rolled off his covers and sat in the chair across from me.

"You look awful," I noted.

He smiled gently. "Could say the same about you." He rubbed his eyes. "How long have you been awake?"

I looked to the window as the sun began its slow ascent over the night clouds. "Couple hours, give or take. I don't really sleep much anymore."

"You have a bad dream too?"

I bit my lip. My hands tingled and I shook away that feeling. A bad dream? That was an understatement. More like a recurring nightmare for the past three or four years; I'd lost count how long it had been. How many sleepless nights I'd experienced. How many nights I'd refused to sleep so I didn't have to see the fire and blood and hear the screams.

"You could say that," I whispered.

Sam braced his hands on his knees as he leaned forward, his brow creased. "Wanna talk about it?"

My eyes flicked to him, looking at him seriously enough to make him raise his chin. Talking did nothing. It didn't stop the dreams and nightmares. It didn't reverse what happened.

"No," I replied flatly. "Do you?'

"Not really, no."

I shrugged in a there you go then motion before I pulled my backpack out from behind my chair and retrieved a vial from one of the pockets. Orange-yellow liquid swirled inside. I handed it to him.

He squinted as he took it, examining it. "What's this?"

"Well, the proper name for it is Rescue Remedy. It'll help calm you. My version? It's got a few extra ingredients in there to help you sleep. It'll knock you out for a few hours."

Sam sent me an inquisitive glance. "If you're using this, how come you're still awake?"

Truth was that it did work. For a time. Once upon a time, the nightmares weren't as bad. There was a time when the Rescue Remedy would work, would stop the nightmares entirely. But as the years went on and the more severe the nightmares got, the less effective the remedy became.

"Try it at least," I said. "What've you got to lose?"

Sam looked at me for a long while, those warm eyes flicking from the vial back to me and then to Dean still fast asleep next to us. He used it in the end, downing the whole thing and passing out not even an hour later.

I watched the sunrise, the pinks and light blues painting the sky. Dean's hand on my shoulder scared the living daylights out of me once he awoke. I remained in my chair as the younger Winchester awoke a couple hours later. I still sat there as each showered and dressed, Sam lounging back on the bed with the motel pad paper and pen in hand, concentrating heavily on that.