Loca

Chapter 15: Confessions

This was going to be hard.

I inhaled deeply, moving to take my motorcycle helmet off of my head, exhaling as my hair tumbled out of it.

When the bike turned off I managed to catch the attention of one of Jacob's brothers.

"Hey Paul," I called semi nervously. "Jake in there?" I nodded towards Emily's house. It seemed to be the only place we ever went these days, and I should have come here first. Instead I'd followed him here when he wasn't at home, hoping futilely not to have an audience.

"He is, you coming in?" He asked, hesitating in wherever he had been headed, to hear my answer. I shook my head in response, smiling to put him at ease.

"Does he have a sec?" I hinted, for some reason the question making him smirk. "For you he does." He went to duck back into the house, calling quickly over his shoulder to me. "I'll send him out."

Within seconds of him saying that Jacob came out to greet me. He looked so very happy to see me that it pierced my resolve. Still, I coaxed Jake into coming with me, almost luring him away in a sense.

Not long after, when he was wrapped around me for the ride, I was reminded of the time he and I had ditched school to pick up what he'd told me then was a car part. Only it had instead been a part for the vehicle we were now on.

And only a few days since I'd met him. How could that have only been a month ago? How could I not have seen then his reasons why he cared so much?

After I parked, we ended up pacing the beach, Jacob quickly catching on to the fact that I had something on my mind. He looked almost as nervous as I was feeling. Doing no job to hide it, but why would he?

So I sighed, deciding to get this over with. I began, "I have to tell you something." Playing with my fingers nervously while I avoided meeting his eyes. "I think you already know it but I should say it anyways."

He swallowed slowly, indicating that I shouldn't continue, trying to protest, "Trinity, don't..." he began.

Still never one to listen, I continued. "I imprinted on you Jacob...and I know you did on me."

"You don't need to do this," he told me. Like I was trying to fight with him and maybe I was. I didn't think so, but maybe. His response definitely frustrated me. "What, acknowledge it? One of us has to."

"Acknowledge it all you want...Just, you don't have to act like it's a bad thing." He sounded hurt now. Which hurt me.

"You think it's not?" I asked him, not ready for the answer. Jake dropped his head to look at the pebbles beneath our feet.

"It shouldn't be." He crossed his arms over his chest defensively, his face tired. "I'm glad it happened."

I looked at him incredulously. "Only because you don't know any better! Seriously, do you even hear yourself? Because the way you're looking at me makes me think you aren't listening."

He looked away in response, "It's not the end of the world as we know it just because I found you Trinity. You don't have to act like the sky is falling. " Now I was squeezing my eyes shut, breathing deeply through my mouth.

Almost mocking, almost cringing. "Didn't it fall though? Because the world as I knew it doesn't exist anymore. All of it, everything, everywhere I look...it's you. I can't feel anything that isn't you. I'm not even sure where you end...and I begin. " I trailed off, distracted again. This was going to be a long process if I couldn't even hold a simple conversation.

"I don't want you to be afraid. Please don't be afraid. If you don't know where I end then I don't know where you do. I've seen you this way for a while Trinity. I haven't panicked yet." He took a deep breath and my heart skipped too many beats.