Breaking

Chapter {11}

[Camila Cabello]

~Loving her or found first {part 2}

Lauren and Dinah sit together and Normani sits next to me. I turn to her hesitently after Dinah leaves us. Her darke yes glistening with nervousness. I give her a reassuring smile but it feels so fake. I mean I love Lauren. Im suposed to love Lauren.

So why does my heart beat faster when Im closer to hef?

Why does she make me feel worth something?

Why does she mean so much?

I have been a fangirl since the dawn of time and I have only ever loved the couples put together by the Council. I thought the Council had always known what was best. Always follow the Councils orders. There was nothing else I wanted then to be famous and be paired with my soul mate.

Now that I have I know I had been wrong all along.

Loving Lauren was something I was used to but now that I had her I was wrong. The Council was wrong. The girl who sat in front of me made me feel new. Perfect. And I couldnt deny the fact that I loved her.

"Normani." I say softly.

"Karla." She says with a smirk.

I roll my eyes.

She gives me s lightly raised eyebrow. "Someone angry?"

"No."

"Liar."

Why did she have to know me so well?

"I just dont like this. Ive always thought the Council knew best. That they knew all the secrets and had some sort of specila way to figure out who belonged with who. I always dreamt of being paired by them. But now..."

She nods and pulls me in for a close hug, her thumb making soothing circles on my back. I sigh and melt into her embrace. Our hearts beat together. Thump thump thump.

"Its okay Mila."

"How are you so calm Mani?" I ask gently.

She takes a shakey breath. "Because I taught myself its okay to love someone who doesnt love you back. As long as they're worth your love."

I smile. "Its beautiful."

"But it really sucks." She says.

I tilt my head up so our foreheads are touching. Her eyes are closed and shes obviously focusing on her thoughts. I move a strand of her hair from her eyes. I can hear Lauren and Dinah yelling and I probably should check on them but for one moment Im going to take a risk.

And the consequences will be devistating.

Using every once of courage I had, I leaned into her, sealing the space between us. Our lips connect and the world melts away. Im not sure when I found my way out of the oblivion but when I did Normani was waiting for me.

Her eyes looked sad and she stood, scotting from me. "Im sorry Camzi. We cant do this."

"Wha-"

"I would say the usual 'its not you its me' but we both know whats stopping us."

"I dont!"

She furrows her brow and pulls out a photo. Its Lauren and I. A photoshopped kiss. Written beneath it is #Camren. Then in the upper left corner, written in firey red, is the words convince me.

"Lauren didnt tell you?"

"I- umm-" I stutter helplessly.

Normani takes a deep breath. She steps back close and we are inches away. Her breath dancing like a ghost on my skin, creating goosebumps. "Listen and listen well Cabello. I never loved you. Let it go. I will never love you. You love Lauren and thats the only person you will ever love."

Dinah seems to come with efficiant timing and wraps her arms around Mani. Giving me a smirky glare.

I stand there confused as ever. "I dont understand-"

"It was a fling, Mila. I was pittying you. Now you have Lauren. I can be with the one I love. Just stay away from us."

Her words are flat and bring tears to my own eyes. I know shes trying to break my heat but shes so plain. So sure. As if it was real. And if it was Im not sure my hert could take it. I wipe furiously at the tears and nod.

"Just remember, I used to fear you Normani. Now your just a joke. Your a liar. You loved me and your too afraid to think that I didnt love you back. You lie. You needed the Council because your a terrible person and you knew you wouldnt be loved ever. And you know Dinah doesnt love you. She obviously fell for Lauren and now your trying to find love where your not wanted. Your a liar."

My words spread venom through my viens. I had never been so mean but if she was trying to help this then so would I. A thick layer of ice settled between us. She averted her eyes back down to the sand. I hated admitting it but I found pleassure in my ability to actually make her feel emotion she expressed.

Dinah took my arm and left Normani by the ocean. She hauled me over out of Normanis earshot and looked ready to slap me.

"What the hell Mila?" She hisses.

"She tried breaking my heat." I say matter-of-factly.

Dinah rolls her eyes. "She wasnt that brutal-"

"You dont realise how much her words hurt. Think about Lauren saying that to you!"

"Think about what you said Mila."

And I did. And my world crashed.

"Oh god-"

"You broke her Mila!" Dinah says with tears in her eyes. "You destroyed her."

"I- I- I never meant-"

Dinah looks ready to slap me again but bites her lip. "Go back to Lauren. I dont want you near Mani again. Or whats left of Mani."

"You dont understand, I love her."

"No you dont Mila." Dinah says with an angry voice. "Your sad because Lauren doesnt love you and you found love in Mani but you cant show it. All that anger exploded and you did it to the person who loved you. But you never loved her."

With that Dinah spun on her heel and took Normani into her arms. She was stiff as all get out but easily concealed the pain and hurt.

I, on the other hand, fell into tears and took off.