Redemption

46

It was the first time I had decently slept in months. Warm hands on my body, one on my hip, the other on my belly, gently holding me in place. I sighed, turning in his arms. "I've missed you." I mumbled, snuggling into his chest.

My eyes fluttered open lazily, looking up to take in his features. He was already looking at me. He didn't say anything. He just looked. "What happened last night?" I asked. I feared the answer, but I needed one.

His breathed in deeply. "We were drugged."

I swallowed thickly. His voice has been so cold, so monotone. "Do you-"

He shrugged. It seemed he knew what I was going to say. "Had Miss Skeeter not barged in when she did, I would have said otherwise."

My heart skipped a beat. I didn't like the sound of that. "You do then."

His fingers trailed along my arm, sending shivers up my spine. "I regret only two things of this encounter." He began, carefully phrasing his words. He averted his gaze, sliding it along my face, drinking in my features. "First, that you may very possibly lose your post and any chance of finding another. You are so very brilliant. You deserve the very best the world has to offer."

I leaned into him. "I don't care." I whispered. "I love you."

He took a deep breath. I couldn't see his face, though with his next words, I think it was better that way. "That leads me to my second regret..." He swallowed hard, as though it was painful for him to say. "I regret that you had not taken my previous warning to heart."

I frowned, freezing in place. "What is that supposed to mean?"

He shifted away slightly. "We were tricked into drinking a lust potion. What you were feeling was not real. It was fabricated to lead you here. We were trapped into this."

I felt a tear make its way down my face. "You can't mean it. You felt something. You said so yourself that the potion had worn off."

He paused before speaking. "Bedding someone doesn't require any specific emotion."

I pushed away from him, standing. I pulled on my sweater and the rest of my clothing rather quickly. "I thought I meant more to you than a shag." I managed shakily. "I suppose I'm just another Ella. Another former student who's affections you used to your advantage."

I knew I was spouting absolute nonsense. I knew that Ella had taken advantage of him and not the other way around, but in that moment my mind wasn't functioning properly. I was so angry and hurt.

His eyes burned with something dangerous. "Listen here-"

I cut him off by nearly vomiting all over him. He eyed me with concern, his face contorting drastically. "I'm going to be sick." I managed, running to the loo.

I locked the door behind me, I didn't want to see him. Once I had thrown up what was left of my meal from the night before, I washed my hands, brushed my teeth and washed my face. I looked up into the mirror to examine my reflection. Just that was enough to send me toppling over, my body racked with sobs.

I curled into a ball on the cold stone floor, leaning against the bathtub. Once the tears started, they seemed to never end. They were pulled from me without my consent.

I was vaguely aware of a knock on the bathroom door. "Go away, you vile, vile man! You've only ever hurt me."

A heavy sigh reached me through all the noise I had been making. Someone was leaning against the door. "Miss Granger, I cannot allow you to stay in my washroom in that state."

I hiccoughed, hiding in my hands. "I hate it! I hate it so much."

I thrashed, hitting my arm against the tub, hearing something in my elbow crack loudly as searing pain trailed up my arm. I screeched as the heat of the injury flowed through my nerves.

With a mumbled spell, the door swung open. Snape sat on the ground, pulling me into his arms, leaning me against his chest as he inspected my elbow.

I hit him with all I had, trying to push him away. He wasn't having any of it. "Stop resisting me, I am trying to help."

I slumped over, giving up. "Why can't I just hate you? Why must I be in love with such a despicable man?"

We sat there for quite some time as he attempted to quiet my sobbing. When I had calmed sufficiently, he stood, lifting me in his arms.

He carried me to the infirmary, the pain in my heart far outweighing the pain in my arm.

Madam Pomfrey eyed us suspiciously as he lay me down in one of the cots. She came in, bustling about, as per usual. She rolled up my sleeve, inspecting my elbow. As I had feared, it appeared to be broken somewhere. Deep bruising decorating the surface of the wound, the blood pooling around it.

She gasped. "Merlin's beard, Severus!" She exclaimed. "Whatever have you done to the poor girl?"

Snape rolled his eyes in response. But she kept speaking before he had the chance to interject. "My boy, you ought not be so rough with someone in her condition. It could have serious repercussions. I insist you remain gentle in your bedding habits."

My face flushed heavily. So, she already knew. That hadn't taken very long to get around.

Something she said had caught his ear, however. "What condition?"

Poppy met my eyes. She had nearly let it slip. I pleaded with her silently, begging her not to say anything. I hadn't told him. I couldn't tell him. Not yet.

She nodded curtly, quickly averted her attention to my arm. "I am not at liberty to discuss it." I inhaled sharply as she prodded the damaged appendage. "This seems tricky. I'll have to use skelegrow and keep it wrapped up for the next few days."

The matron turned to the Potions' Master. "You are no longer needed here. You may leave, should you wish to."

Part of me hoped he would. That he would offer me a cold sneer and disappear down the stairs with a swirl of his robes.

The other part of me wish he wouldn't. That he stay with me, though the repercussions on my fragile heart would be anything by favourable.

To my utter shock, he took a seat in the chair next to the bed, grasping the fingers of my uninsured hand, running his thumb along my knuckles.

How long he say there, I didn't know. What I did know was that the last thing I saw before falling into a magic-induced sleep was the overpowering sadness in his ebony eyes.

The inner storm of a haunted man.