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"C'mon Jon! It'll be fun!" My brother yelled. He had on a heavy coat, snow pants and boots, hat and gloves. It was snowing out, but not a whole lot, it was not like a blizzard. It was just light snow.

"I'm to old for this," I told him. He was trying to get me to come outside and play with him, like when we were super little.

"Please Jonny. It's Christmas," he gave his best puppy eyes, and I couldn't say no.

"Okay, okay. I'll go get some heavier clothes on and I'll be out. Okay?" He smiled and cheered, then ran outside. I roll my eyes and go find some snow gear.

Once I found it and put it on, I walk outside and don't see my brother. I don't panic, yet. The thought of losing him never crossed my mind, cause next thing I knew, I was hit in the face with a snowball. It didn't hit hard, but I fell into the snow, acting like it did.

"Jon!" I heard crunching snow coming my way, and I stay on the ground. "Jon?" He poked me. I jump up and tackled him to the ground. When I did, he gave out a little yelp of surprise. "You're a butt!" He giggled.

"Yep, and you're a turd. But I love you," I grin, then help him up with me. We had a snowball fight, which he won. And no I didn't give him the win, my aim just sucks. Then we build a snowman. It wasn't short, but it wasn't tall. It might've been about the size of my brother. He wasn't that much taller than maybe four feet.

When we finished, we went inside and I made us some hot chocolate and cookies. My brother had already been sitting on the couch when we walked in, but when the cookies were done, I brought everything over. We sat, watched movies and ate junk food the rest of the day.

Out of nowhere, my eyes opened to complete darkness. I looked around a bit, hoping my eyes would adjust. My eyes flickered gold and I could see in the room. I was in my bedroom. There was nothing really, off. "Why am I awake?" I sigh to myself, wanting to go back to my happy dream. I looked down and didn't see the teddy bear. I sat up and walked downstairs, into the living room. I looked for the stuffed animal. When I finally found it, I took it back upstairs to my room, and fell back asleep.

"I have to go to the bathroom." I nodded and he left. "Nooo!" He screamed. I jumped up out of bed and ran to the bathroom. He wasn't there. "Leave me alone!" I ran to his bedroom, it was locked. "I don't know where my brother is! I swear!" I kicked open the door to find a man holding my brother at gun point. I go to run at him, but another guy holds me.

"Oh would you look at that. Your brother is here. We've been looking for him. Would've been easier to tell the truth."

"Let him go!" I struggled against the one holding me. The other guy just laughed, shaking his head. He pushed the gun to my brothers head, "Noo!" I screamed.

I jumped myself awake, but throwing myself forward without realizing it. I found myself laying on the floor, curled up in a ball. I didn't say or do anything. I just lay there. I look in front of me to see the beat came flying with me, of course. I reached out and grabbed it, holding it tightly. I looked at it, and thought of him. Talked to it, like it was him.

"I could've done so many things. There were so many ways I could've got you out. So many ways to have kept you safe," I scolded myself, "but I just stood there. I tried to help, but couldn't. No, didn't. If I could take it all back, I would. Would've thrown myself in front of the gun. Would've fought harder. Would've been the guardian I was supposed to be." Tears rolled down my face. "And I'm sorry..." I sob on the floor, holding the toy. Thinking of every possible way that night could've changed, and what I'd be doing with my brother now.

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