i nervously run my hand through my hair as i think about the whole situation with me and dan. the poor boy doesn't deserve to be treated the way he is. it's not like i want to hurt him, but if i ever tried to stand up for him, he'd be hurt even more. i like him a lot, fuck you could even say i love him. i want to protect him at all costs, but it's just so hard when you're known as the school bully and your friends pressure you into terrorizing every weak link in the school.
i hate the fact that the only way i can talk to him nicely is through texting anonymously. it's almost like leading him on. i know once he finds out im his secret admirer he'll hate me forever, but it's worth it. he's so fucking worth it. i, phil lester, will do anything in my power to win over the shy pastel boy, dan howell.
an// a little filler chapter 🍡💫🍰
