Jealousy • Jachary

Chapter 13

J A C K

I'm really paranoid and now I have all eyes on Daniel. He can't be cheating on me right? I finally do notice he has been closer to Corbyn like really close. They are more touchy and sometimes I feel like he is smiling at him more than at me. I decided to get up from my chair and walk over to Daniel who apparently is looking for a snack. I wrap my arms around his waist and just lay my head on his shoulder. "I love you," I say but question my genuineness. "I love you too," he says while like looking at me with those blue eyes and a smile. Why does his smile look forced? I kiss his cheek but he starts laughing awkwardly and tries to gets out of my arms. "Are you ok?" He asks. "Yeah," I ask confused. "You just seem kinda off with all this sudden loving on me." Did something happen?" "No I just felt like I haven't been giving my boyfriend enough attention," I say emphasizing boyfriend. Daniel looks at me then asks "You want to do something like a date since we have an off day." I smile brightly and say "yeah."

***

Daniel and I decided to go to a mall in the area we're in. I still don't know where we are. Right now we're sitting at the food court and I'm getting kinda annoyed. I'm sitting here with my head in my hand looking at the boy in front of me going on and on about Corbyn and how "the funniest thing happen yesterday." So I start to tune him out as I sigh thinking maybe I am losing him. The more I look at him the more I wish Zach was here. Zach was so cute and he always great to be around. I just wish he understood that I can't love him because I have Daniel. Or do I? I look at him letting that last thought sink in.

I'm starting to wonder do I actually love Daniel like I always thought I did. I decide to ask him. So breaking out of my trance I reach out for his hands and hold them. I start to gently rub my thumb over his hands and feel the warmth of them. I look him in the eye and he is silent. I say, "Do you love me?" He is still quiet and just stares at me. "Jack, I-Ii love you?" He basically stutters it and says it like a question. I frown. He really doesn't love me anymore he use to say it without a doubt. I feel like I'm about to cry and I don't know how to respond so an awkward silence fills the air.

Suddenly a phone rings. Daniel looks at his phone and looks back at me with a slight frown. He says rather awkwardly, "can you let go of my hands so I can answer." I remove my hands not realizing I still was holding his, rather in a tight grip I though. He answers the phone, "Oh hey Corbs." So that's who he's talking to and since when did he call his Corbs? Honestly it's fucking cute but it kinda hurts seeing him smile so brightly as he keeps talking to him. I guess Zach is sort of right maybe I can finally be with him as i am losing the one I thought I loved forever.

***

I have been in my bunk for the rest of the day after going to the mall with Daniel. It was kinda awkward after he got off the phone so we mostly talked about about the tour and our music. Because yeah that always is a good way to change topics. I mostly didn't want to see anybody and now that I think about it I haven't seen any of the other boys besides Daniel. I kinda missing Zach a lot right now like I'm craving his attention. Craving him? What, so now he is food. I also did have a good conversation with my mom today over the phone about keep doing what makes me happy. Zach makes you happy. Can you please stop like why's it all about Zach.

So now I'm hungry and it's late at night so that means a late night snack. More like late night Znach. Stop it Jack. I get out of my bunk to see a light on toward the front of the bus which I'm heading because that's where the food at. The curtain is pulled down so I can't see anybody. I don't really want to be seen so I don't make a loud entrance and kinda creep like a mouse. I hear voices that sound like Daniel and Corbyn. They are kinda talking hush so I don't know what they are saying. Then I hear giggling. What so funny I'm just tryna get a snack. So I start to pull open the curtain and that's when I see them. They're kissing and I feel a tear run down my cheek as I watch. I also then notice a pack of gushers on the counter that I can reach. So I grab the gushers because I'm hungry and run off back to my bunk. They didn't see me which is good but honestly I wish I didn't see them. I'm now crying my eyes out that I start to taste my salty tears as I lay in my bunk eating gushers thinking how Zach was right like he always is.