Have Hope

Chapter 8

"After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations." Oscar Wilde, A Woman of No Importance

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Chapter Eight

Kit did not know which was more harrowing. The fact that his father lay unconscious in bed, or the fact that a lead bullet lay in a dish beside him on the bedside table.

The surgery had gone flawlessly according to Doctor Ward. Despite the fact that there was quite a lot of scar tissue as a result of the time between the original injury and the operation, Doctor Ward was able to locate the bullet and remove it with as minimal invasiveness as possible.

Cassian's breathing and heartrates were steady, and he would wake up in good time. But that had not prevented Kit from imagining the worst. What if the surgery had gone wrong? God forbid, what if Cassian had died? What if the last thing he had ever told his father was a lie?

Kit knew that he needed to tell his parents the truth no matter the consequences. He did not know if he could endure their disappointment, after all, he had never disappointed them before.

Kit looked up at Faith. She was sitting on the opposite side of Cassian's bed, staring at her husband's chest, watching as it rose and fell. Her shoulders were still incredibly tense as there were intent frown lines between her brows as she concentrated.

"Are you able to relax yet, Mother?" Kit asked her.

Faith's concentration broke as she looked to Kit. Upon meeting his eyes, her shoulders did relax a little and she offered him a small smile.

"I shall as soon as he wakes," she replied. "You have been such a help to us this summer, Kit," she said sincerely. "It has been such a dreaded time in our lives, and you have made it easier on us. Particularly where your sisters are concerned." Faith looked at him sympathetically. "I know this should have been a more special time for you. We are both so terribly proud of you for what you have achieved. First with Cambridge, and then your bravery concerning the prince. You really ought to have been in London for the season, enjoying all that comes with receiving one of the king's honours, but instead you have been here." Faith used her sleeve to wipe away the tears that had begun to pool in her eyes. "You cannot know what it means to me to have a son I can watch grow and thrive."

Kit was hearing such wonderful, loving words from his mother, and all he felt was guilt. Had he let it go on too long? Ought he to have been more rebellious over the years? Was it too late now?

Kit did not care about missing the parties he would have been invited to had he spent the summer in London. He was happy to support his parents and look after his sisters during this time. But he knew that when Faith referred to him growing and thriving, she was referring to what she and Cassian intended for him.

What felt even worse was that Faith felt even more blessed to have him having lost her first born son. It was not a subject often mentioned in the Kensington household. At least, not to Kit and his sisters. But Kit knew what had happened. And everyone knew who Faith's special place in the garden was for.

Kit took a deep breath, knowing he could only ask. "What if I did something to disappoint you?" he asked quietly.

Faith frowned. "Whatever do you mean?"

"What if I did something to disappoint you?" Kit repeated. "Would you still be proud of me? Would you still love me?"

Faith still looked positively puzzled. "What an odd question, Kit. Nothing you could ever do would stop us from loving you."