What If

Epilogue

Years Later
Katniss

I stared out into the vast meadow, a serene smile on my face. It had grown back green and was full of all different types of flowers despite no one planting them to my knowledge.

Peeta and Camellia sat in the middle of the meadow a few feet away from me. The two of them were picking flowers, which Peeta then tucked into her brown hair that had lightened with age. She had turned five last month, but she still small with those wide blue eyes of hers.

The flowers in her hair ranged from type, but they were mainly primroses and the occasional camellias that had bloomed this year.

My child unknowingly plays on the ruins of the old District Twelve. She was far too young to understand despite being born during a war, and someday we would have to, or I would. I wasn't sure if Peeta could, if he would trust himself to.

District Twelve had slowly began to build back into a real district. It was, by far, one of the least populated districts, but the new medicinal factory was attracting new workers and their families to repopulate the area.

Although the war had been done for years Peeta and I hadn't fully healed. There were still nights where I woke up screaming, but Peeta's arms were always there to comfort me. And there were times when Peeta's eyes became clouded over and he was taken by a flashback, but I was always there to comfort him.

We slowly grew back together. Ever since he moved in we grew our friendship, which quickly reverted back into a romance, but this one was real, not forced by the capitol. Sure, there was still pressure like the pressure of raising a daughter together, but it was all worth it watching her and Peeta together.

So when Peeta asked me to marry him several years back, I quickly accepted. It was a small ceremony with an intimate toasting afterwards.

Haymitch, Effie, my prep team, my mother, Johanna, Annie and her son, Beetee, and even Plutarch had attended along with other residents of District Twelve.

Haymitch had drunk himself nearly to death at our wedding, which wasn't unusual for him, but I could tell he was happy for us.

Effie and my prep team had fussed over me and the itinerary. My prep team had been especially horrified at my plan for a simple, plain dress and no makeup. I had reluctantly allowed them to prep me but under the condition they kept it natural, which they obliged.

My mother had been nearly wordless the entire time and I didn't blame her. She'd pulled me and Peeta into several hugs throughout the night and had doted on Camellia, who had been around three at the time.

Johanna had come all the way from District Seven. I wasn't expecting her to come as I hadn't seen her since the day I shot Coin, but she did and I was glad. She seemed sentimental as well, she even gave me a hug. She had also doted over Camellia with my mother and still called her Brainless Jr.

Annie was the most teary-eyed one of all. Maybe emotions were running high for her, especially due to her son, Fin, who'd been born shortly after Finnick's death. I had avoided her during the night due to guilt. I had the life that she couldn't: I was safe and married, and there was no looming war. When I'd finally ran into her she'd pulled me into a hug and congratulated me before rushing off to find Camellia again. Come to think of it, Camellia was the most popular person at my wedding. She'd also become fast friends with Fin, well as much as three year olds become friends.

Beetee and Plutarch had spend the majority of my wedding talking to each other about the new government of Panem which I paid as little attention to as I could. I wasn't into politics.

The toasting had been my favorite part of it all. My mother, who was staying a few extra days afterwards, had taken Camellia to where she was staying, allowing me and Peeta to spend some time alone.

It had been intimate and one of the best nights of my life. That night we both slept soundly, no nightmares.

The weak sound of a cry snapped me back to reality and I stared down at the small bundle in my arms that was starting to stir.

Peeta had convinced me a few years after our wedding to have another one. After all, Camellia had been so perfect, and he still wanted more.

I had been more reluctant, but he had wanted another one so bad that I agreed. That and the fact my heart melted whenever I saw him with Cam.

The second one had been much easier than the first. Maybe it was because Peeta was at my side the entire time or they weren't born during a war.

And this time when I went into labor, Peeta was there, holding my hand through the entire process. It had been a boy this time, our son. We named him Rye Peeta Mellark.

Now I stared down at the bundle in my arms and smiled lightly. He was a few months old, not much younger than Camellia when the war ended. He was very different compared to her. He had Peeta's bright blond curls, but my seam gray eyes.

"Shh, shh," I whispered as I rocked him back and fourth. "No need to get fussy....did you have a nightmare?"

He squirmed around in my arms and I sighed, rocking him gently.

"It's okay, I get them too," I responded. One thing he and Camellia did share was their wide eyes, and his were currently fixated on me. "One day I'll explain to you why I get them, why they came, and why they won't ever go away. And I'll tell you how I survive it.

"I make a list in my head of every act of goodness that I've seen someone do. It's like a game. It's a bit repetitive. Even a little tedious after all of these years, but there are much worse games to play."

This seems to calm Rye down. I know he doesn't understand my words, but they feel good to let out anyways. Peeta thinks he likes the sound of my voice, and I don't disagree.

I turn my attention back to him and Cam. His arms are outstretched and she quickly rushes into them. He laughs as he picks her up and walks over towards me and Rye.

"Ready to go home?" Peeta asked me. I nodded and allowed him to help me up. Cam peers down at her baby brother, who she adores, and I can't help but grin. Sure, my life has been full of losses, but it's also been full of gains.

I allow Peeta to take me home. Cam bounds in first and begins playing with some old paper dolls that used to belong to Prim, our Auntie Prim as we call her when Peeta and I tell Camellia stories about her.

Peeta takes Rye from me and lays him down for his nap. Then he comes back downstairs and wraps his arms around me.

"I love you," he whispered into my ear as we watched Cam play. The doubt that used to be in his voice had disappeared, a sure sign that he was healing.

I turned and wrapped my arms around Peeta's neck. I placed my head on his chest and listened to his heart beat. I felt safer no place else. "I love you, too."

And suddenly, in that moment, everything I had experienced was worth it. All of the hardships, the pain. None of it mattered anymore as it had led me to this moment.

This perfect moment, which I never wanted to leave. And I didn't have to. The rest of my life would be full of moments like these. We had all the time in the world.