Bumper Cars | Grey's Anatomy • CalZona FanFic

Fake Happy

It's been a week since Callie walked out on me during counseling. We haven't spoken to each other since. I mean, she tried to start conversations but I wasn't really feeling it.

We haven't told anyone about our divorce yet either. I sent her the papers last night. She should have it signed by tomorrow.

I honestly don't know what to do with my life now. I'm a mess. I know everyone thinks I'm okay and I don't have the right to feel pain and anger or any remorse to Callie or to anyone since she basically told everyone in the whole hospital that I'm a filthy adulterous whore. Which I am not. I was just angry and I haven't forgave her for my leg yet. But I do now.

I realized my mistakes and that I was a bitch to Callie about my leg. I realize now that she did that to save my life. Alex told me I could've died if they didn't amputate my leg. Sometimes I used to think that what if Callie let me die instead? I mean, at least I couldn't cheat on her twice anymore and at least I'd be buried with a complete body. I kinda miss my brother Jonathan too. I think he's disappointed in me now. I married and cheated on my wife. Not so 'good man in a storm', right?

I woke up feeling really depressed today. A beam of light from the sun through my blinds touched my tear-stained face. I've been having trouble sleeping and waking up ever since I stopped sleeping beside Calliope. She's my anchor. Used to be. She still is.

But I can't be selfish and keep her to myself because she's finally happy. She said herself she wanted to be free of me, that I was depriving her of air, that I was the one in her way. Her saying those words felt like I was stabbed in he heart a million times.

"Good morning, Dr. Robbins." Richard greeted with a smile. Sometimes I feel like Richard is the only one who talks to me like a friend anymore. Aside from De Luca over there, we're not that tight.

"What's so good in the morning?" I say in monotone. I can see Richard's weirded out expression. "I'm kidding, chief." I say as I fake giggle.

I've been a professional when it comes to faking things now, especially about how I feel or showing my expressions. I can't show them that I'm dying inside. I can't let them know I'm hurting. I'm strong. I don't need anyone.

Wrong. I need Calliope. I need Sofia.

But they don't need me.

Callie had already brainwashed Sofia and fed her wrong things about me. I'm ruined from my own daughter. She doesn't want to be with me anymore.