The Defining Line

6: In The Touch

Blissful silence, serene blankness, a certain calmness...

How else are you supposed to describe a deep sleep? Ove finished about an hour ago, now he has turned away shoving his back to me. At least he doesn't snore I guess. I don't attempt to move because I know if I do the pain will spike between my legs again, like I am pinned to the bed next to a man who has already taken advantage of me. Socially, it was acceptable for him to take me but mentally it was all wrong, a bit sick even. No amount of fore-warning would have made this okay in my mind, but you wouldn't be able to tell looking at me. "Smile and listen and do just that." My mothers words ring in my ears.

Anyway, I know I am safe until morning, so I let my mind drift into the depths of sleep once again.

*.*.*.*

I feel a pair of hands covering my stomach leaving slight impression on my skin. Lazily my eyes push themselves open until my fear quickly catches up with me.

The woman in white stands before me, her steel grey eyes pin me down to the bed.

"What are you doing?" My lips mouth but not actually speak just in case.

She raises her hands above my head, she has changed the ribbons hanging off her wrists from red to lavender purple and guides her hands over my eyes to close them.

Pressure pushes my body through the bed, it feels that way even though I know it's not happening, the glow of the moon doesn't laminate my eyelids anymore, and when I open my eyes again everything is black. Nothing is recognizable, I have lost control.

A cold hand takes mine, and the lady it belongs to stands beside me.

"What are you doing to me?" My temper getting the best of me, I nearly slap the woman. "What's your name?"

She doesn't answer me, instead she guides me to a brick wall and runs her fingertips across the surface gracefully.

"Okay? So it's a wall, there's nothing here." I start beginning to get annoyed.

Her head lowers, she is already shorter than me which makes it even harder for me to see her expression. I can only see where her brows have creased together until she sparks an idea and shoots her face back up with her eyes looking as far left as they can push.

"Can you stop acting weird and tell me something?" Continuing, she moves down further away from me smelling the bricks, as if that could make a difference.

"What's your name?"

She returns to me with nothing but a hard glare.

"What ever you are doing it's useless. Can I just go back home?"

Her hands get more anxious along the creases of the brick wall, and her hair clumps together flowing off her shoulders shaking more frantically than before. I notice she hangs feathers from the undermost layers of her hair and peak out between the curls once in a while of she turns her head fast enough.

"Please just tell me anything! Take me home to my husband now!" Suddenly Ove doesn't seem so bad. As long as I am there I know what I am in for here I feel alone with a strange speechless woman.

"Come on! Stop ignoring me! I know you understand me you have to speak!" I advance to push her to the ground but she surprises me by slamming my face away with the back of her hand.

I don't see anything until I relocate myself on the ground. She stands over my legs and lowers her hands on my stomach again.

"What are you doing?" She shoves my hands down away from her face so I can't reach her, somehow her reflexes are incredible despite her slow movements otherwise.

"No..." she mumbles looking frantically at all the parts of my body.

"What?"

"No baby." She repeats slightly louder and very stiff, I can tell she doesn't use her voice to say much. The long strands of her hair graze my skin but I ignore the tickling sensation. She concentrates hard on my stomach again pushing deeper and deeper until it hurts.

Suddenly I breath in to scream in pain but she lessens her force and removes her palms from my skin before my voice breaks.

"How can you tell I don't have a baby?" I ask after a moment I have to collect myself.

She lifts the bottom of her dress up past her legs to show me her stomach which is flat and slightly caving in under her ribs.

I sigh annoyed and slap my hands against my hips"But that doesn't prove-

"Shhhhh....." she warns and takes my hand again. We walk through trees and a mossy earth floor until somehow I end up in my room again.

The woman moves towards my bed making sure I am comfortable again in the same position I was in before she sank me in my own bed.

"I have a baby." I whisper making sure Ove sleeps, more for my sake to convince myself than for her though. I know how much my family relies on it.

For the first time the lady smiles and crawls her legs up to the bottom corner of the bed.

"Sigge." she points between the strands on her hair to her heart returning to my gaze.

"Astrid." I whisper, copying her movements because I know that's what she understands.

She raises her palm up to me one last time before advancing to the window and leaving for the night.