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As I went to rejoin Stephanie in the kitchen, the wheels in my brain turned endlessly. I was playing devil's advocate with myself. Under no circumstances did I want to annoy or vex Ben, but my swelling jealousy was starting to get out of hand. And I didn't even know why.
Ever since Kimberly appeared, I began realizing how uncharacteristically I acted whenever I was around Ben. Which was strange, because I didn't even like him---in the romantic way, that is. Or did I? Or was I suffering the aftermath of being starstruck?
My jumbled thoughts replayed the night Ben, Josh, and I were standing in a hospital hallway, biding farewell. I'd felt something then, as Ben and I hugged goodbye. But I promised myself that it wouldn't evolve anything and risk our friendship. And, honestly, I'd been keeping that personal secret well, until now.
Why did I allow Kim to bring out the worst in me?
I returned to Stephanie, still unsure of my future plans. She was wearing her typical smile, displaying her uncanny set of perfectly white teeth. She looked a walking ad for those annoying whitening strips.
"You found it alright?" she asked, her hand wrapped around a freshly poured cup of coffee.
"What?" I asked, her voice yanking me back to reality. I hadn't been paying attention and, as a result, felt a slight burn in my cheeks.
"Did you find the bathroom?"
"Oh! Yeah, I did," I smiled and stole a finale glance over my shoulder in the direction of the terrace. I don't know what I expected to see, if anything at all. Maybe in my wildest fantasies, Ben would be standing there, his piercing gray-blue eyes locking with mine, smiling, waiting for me on the terrace. But instead I found an empty hallway engulfed in the evening shadow.
"Are you okay?" Stephanie asked, her eyebrows furrowed with concern. "You look a little disoriented."
I focused my attention on Stephanie, an apologetic expression lacing my features.
"Yes, I'm fine, thanks."
"Are you positive? Maybe you need some coffee?"
I was beginning to interpret Stephanie's pressing kindness as sickly sweet. But, like previously stated, my mind was entertaining a million different thoughts, whether they were true or not.
"Really," I said as assuringly as possible, "I'm okay. But thank you."
Stephanie nodded in reply and took a sip of her steaming beverage.
After a brief moment of silence, when Stephanie valued her coffee more than me, she suggested that we return to the other room---which I had been right in calling it an office.
I agreed, seeing as there was obviously nothing more entertaining happening at the moment, and began the dreaded parting of the sea. I followed Stephanie, marvelling over how she managed to dodge several flailing dancers without spilling her coffee even once.
