Start Again

Part 2

To an outsider's eyes things might have seemed great. Despite all the drama, the members of Fleetwood Mac were professionals. They performed their set, they looked at and interacted with each other at all the right moments, they did all the small things they were expected to do. However, thing were far from perfect. Lindsey didn't come back like Christine said he would and Stevie didn't get a chance to talk to him either. He ignored her completely during rehearsals, he didn't pick up, when Karen called him for Stevie. She knew, she hurt his feelings, she hoped, he realized he was hurting hers too.

When it was time to take the final bow, Mick decided to stand in between Stevie and Lindsey. He didn't seem to mind, but she frowned a little, trying to catch Mick's attention, but he grinned widely, staring at the audience. She sighed and plastered on a smile. 

"I need to see Lindsey."

Karen lifted her head up, hearing that coming from Stevie. "Are you sure you want to do that?"

"I don't want to leave things as they are between us right now. If he wants me to say, I'm sorry, I will."

With a heavy sigh, Karen walked out the door, going to find where Lindsey's dressing room was and to make sure he was still there. During the time her assistant was gone, Stevie changed out of her stage clothes, removed her makeup and tied her hair up in a ponytail. Her heart was beating was, she was nervous. 

"Come on." Karen opened the door to Stevie's dressing room and Stevie got up to her feet and followed after her. "Should I wait here?"

"No, I'll find my way back." Stevie said, shaking her head. 

Unsure about it Karen left.

Stevie knocked and waited for a response. She heard Lindsey tell her to come in and she did, avoiding eye contact. When she finally looked up, she saw it was just the two of them. She was relieved and also terrified at the same time.

"I don't have the whole night." Lindsey spoke up, his arms folded as he sat on the couch, his eyebrow raised at Stevie.

"Sorry, I..." She cleared her throat and approached him, sitting down. "Lindsey, I hate that we're still fighting. You left the other day without letting me finish what I had to say."

"Say it now." He shrugged, seemingly very disinterested. 

"The reason why I didn't want to record that album is because I don't want to fight with you anymore. You know as well as I do that we would have constantly been at each other's throats. We simply do not get along, when we're in the studio. I love you and I respect you, but I..." She trailed off, looking down at her hands, before lifting her eyes up at him again. "Sometimes I feel like you don't respect me. Not enough. I know I don't play an instrument and all I can offer are my poems. You've said it before, you've got to do all the work. That makes me feel inferior. I feel that you don't see me as an equal to you or Chris."

"When was it I said that?" Lindsey uncrossed his arms, his hands now resting clasped in his lap. "If it was after our breakup in the 70's, you know I said it just to-"

"When we were recording Say You Will. You didn't say that directly to me, I overheard you talking to Mick."

Lindsey's mouth went dry and he looked away. "If I did truly say it, it's because I've always been jealous of you."

"What do you mean?" Stevie frowned. "Why would you be jealous of me, when you're a genius, Lindsey."

A small smile tugged at his lips. He then sighed, running a hand through his curls. "I've never been and I could never be as good a songwriter, Stevie. You just... You have such a way with words and it's you, people talk about. It's your songs that make them cry and feel all these emotions. I don't have that ability in me. You know me well enough, you know I've always been insecure about that. How long had it taken me to share my own song with you, when we first met?"

"Too long." Stevie smiled weakly. "I know you longer than anyone else, Linds." She reached for his hand, she didn't think their conversation would take a turn like that. "You still take up a lot of space in my heart."

Lacing his fingers through hers, Lindsey brought her hand up to his lips. "As do you, Steph."

He hadn't called her that in a very long time. She didn't want to, but she couldn't fight the tears welling up in her eyes. 

"I want us to be like this. I don't want to argue. I know that if I had gone into that studio with you, we wouldn't be here right now. Things aren't good between us, but they'd be a lot worse. I wish you would understand." She added sadly, freeing her hand from his hold as she wiped at her eyes with it.

"I wish I could too. Well, I do, a little, but..." Lindsey shrugged. "No matter what, you've always been the one." Stevie's heart skipped a beat as her eyes grew wide. "You've always been that person, whom I find the most joy in creating music with. When we're doing it together, it's... magical."

She probably shouldn't have said it, but... "Well, from all the interviews I gathered that Christine has replaced me. You sure seem to have a lot more fun with her." Yes, she admitted it, she was jealous. "It was meant to be, you said something along the lines."

"Stevie, it's different. Yes, it's a lot of fun, but in a different way. Chris and I have always been friends. With you... there's this intensity, this- this passion-"

"Don't, Lindsey." Stevie cut him off, holding a hand up. 

"What do you mean, don't?" He asked, his voice raised. "I was never in love with Christine and wanted to give you the world, Stevie! Apparently, you never loved me enough to want it."

"I never loved you enough?" Stevie frowned and she scoffed. "I did everything for you! You were my whole world! You were all I could think about, I dedicated myself to you completely and what you did, was think that you owned me! Give me the world..." She laughed a humorless laugh. "All you ever wanted to do was control every aspect of my life; you told me who I could be friends with, when and if I could go out, if I could meet up with someone alone without you tagging along."

"And here I was, thinking we're getting somewhere." Lindsey shook his head. Standing up, he walked over to the door and opened it. "Get out."

Stevie stared at him in disbelief, but she quickly realized he was serious.