Scattered in Song

Chapter 2 - Faithfully

I was sitting with Amanda and Kayla in my bedroom. I was leaving New York in the morning and we wanted to spend every last second together.

We were reminiscing our memories from since we had met and even though Johnny's death had been a year ago, we spoke about him like he was there.

It was always fun and games until someone died. I was most worried about Kayla. She was taking it the hardest. She was terrified and she wanted to just forget everything we saw - the way he dropped heavily to the ground, the way his body convulsed violently, his tensed throat as he choked on disgusting foam.

I had always told him not to take any of it but he never listened. I mean we were surrounded by it all the time. It came with the job description of being a musician and singers had more pressure than producers. They needed to network, socialise, fit in. And taking drugs was a part of the culture.

Actually, that's a lie. There was just as much pressure on producers but I personally didn't have that problem. I mean sure, the social circles I had been around since I was ten meant that I had been pressured more than once to take drugs, but thankfully me refusing each time didn't affect my musical progression.

Did people invite me out?

No, not after the first few lectures I gave them about drugs and the age limits on alcohol.

Did people still want to work with me?

Yes, of course they did.

"I can't believe you're seriously quitting. What are you going to do in L.A?" Amanda asked.

"Look I wanted to quit okay. And David and Angela both agree that it would be good to have a fresh start in a new place."

Amanda snorted derisively. "Yeah, and bringing you to showbiz central is better than New York how?"

I refrained from rolling my eyes. "This will be a relatively small town far away from Beverly Hills or Hollywood. No one will know me there, and David got transferred there on a promotion to the head office so this is better for my foster parents financially," I told her for the first time. Usually, I just said that I just wanted a change.

"But you're Nicole Webster. Music extraordinaire!" Amanda cried.

I laughed at her dramatic tone and wave of her arms.

"And you're quitting," she continued with frustration.

"Erm actually, I'm calling it an early retirement."

"You're only seventeen, you can't retire that early."

"Well I am," I said stubbornly.

"It's called quitting, just admit it," Kayla intervened.

I stayed silent as I suddenly looked at her. She had barely said anything all night.

"You're abandoning us, just admit it," she said a little angrier, and the words tugged at my heart. It was actually physically painful to hear the hurt in her tone and to see it reflected in her eyes.

I reached out for her but she flinched away. "No, you don't get to touch me when you're leaving," she spat out, crossing her arms over her chest.

Looking at her then, I wasn't sure if I should leave. But I had to, especially if I wanted to stay with Amber.

I knew everything about Kayla and I knew that in her eyes I was now just another person running away from her. So many people had left her in her life and she had convinced herself she was the reason.

"Look Kayla, I'm not abandoning you okay? I'm literally a phone call away if you ever need me. We'll talk all the time and I'll come to visit I promise."