Trembling, I stood, knees knocking. I felt myself caving in, my chest too heavy to pull in air. Breathe, I willed myself; yet it still felt as if I were suffocating. I couldn't get the images out of my head. The visions- no, the truth. My worst parts, anything bad I've ever done. Everything. Tears fell involuntarily from my eyes, an endless stream down my cheeks. My finger nails dug into the skin of my palms. I willed it to stop, the tears, the ache. The heard the click of my door as it opened and irritation welled inside of me. I knew it was Magnus, I knew he'd follow, yet...
"Talk," he stated and I could feel his eyes probing me, as I didn't turn towards him. I chuckled under my breath, the sound chilling. It startled me a little bit, I didn't realize that I was capable of a sound like that; yet, that's me, an unpredictable monster. The word made my stomach churn.
"No," I could feel Magnus' restlessness, his need to see my face, to read it. I felt his need to be closer to me, to take the step, close the distance between us, and...
"Why?" Why me? He wanted to say. Why was I so angry with him? He so badly wanted to know, so he could make it better, but nothing would stop this disease I carried. I already tried, and it kills whatever it touches-Whomever it touches. I had already faced that truth, which was why I needed Magnus as far away as possible. I wouldn't hurt him anymore, wouldn't lead him on. It's because I care for him, that I will sacrifice want for safety. That I will make him hate me before I let him love me- let myself love him. "Please, Raven, I know what you're thinking-" I whipped my head towards him, forcing my legs to stabilize as I met his molten gaze. The scowl I held was anything but pretty.
"Do you? Do you really, Magnus, because-" His hand cupped my cheek gently, the gesture causing goosebumps all over my body, I lost all words. His sky blue eyes sent shivers down my spine. His eyes searched mine, and he waited. Waited, for words to be said, but there were none. I didn't have any snarky remarks, or shameful words to throw his way, all I had was this pull, this need for him. I closed my eyes, relishing in his touch. He pulled me into his chest, and I forgot how angry I was at him, how I'd planned to keep him as far away as possible. How could I push someone away that I so desperately wanted to be close to? He winced as snuggled into his chest. I jerked back, remembering what I'd just done to him. Guilt squirmed inside of me.
"It's fine Raven, really." But it wasn't-I wasn't. I shrugged back on my leather jacket, and began pushing past Magnus. He looped his arm through mine and leaned down to whisper something in my ear, but I interrupted him.
"Touch me like that again, and you'll be missing more than just your pride," I hated the way I made him frown, hated myself for hurting him. It will all be worth it in the end, I assured myself, but the words were anything but comforting. I left him standing in my room, flustered and smitten, one of which I never meant to do to him. He didn't follow me, and a part of me ached, while another part held her chin a little higher. I tried not to doubt my decision, to question it, because I knew how it would end. Him in my arms, ice blue liquid slipping through my fingers, my heart shattering, chest hollow... Josh showed me that, what my future was with Magnus, what he would succumb to because of me...Suddenly My shoulder collided with something solid, a wall like figure; yet, it was not a wall I ran into, but a solider.
"My apologizes," he bowed deeply his scruffy blonde hair falling over his eyes slightly. I was confused by the gesture, and could only manage a nod. "You are Raven, yes?" I gulped.
"Depends... Who's asking?" He laughed, a rather beautiful and filling sound. Then, his sky-blue eyes met mine.
"Max, captain of the blut guard," a chill ran down my spine, blood guard, executioners. He watched as I gulped down my response. "Do not worry Raven, I am not here for you," he winked and still I couldn't find any words to say. I smiled halfheartedly. "Perhaps I can accompany you in your journey? Where are you headed?" I looked around, stumbling over half way formed words. He looped his arm through mine. "I think you need to loosen up," He patted my arm and led me through the twisting corridors of the underground utopia. I remained silent, watching.
YOU ARE READING
The Return
Fantasy"Monster." The word came out slow and slurred, I watched as his lips curled into a smile. I couldn't find my tongue. His cackle was deep, and reverberated through my soul. I felt the fragments of myself falling farther away. "And to think, I actual...
