Fouling Out (Remix)

Fouled Out

Ever since GD's confession, I avoided him like the plague.

And what helped me more in avoiding him was that I have been out of school because of a very very bad case of flu.

It was touching how almost every one of the boys from the team texted me to ask me how I was and Kuya Hero even dropped by the house to bring me fruits and a slew of vitamins na kung kani-kanino galing na sinabi nang lahat na ubusin ko daw.

It was my fifth day in recovery and my third day out of school and I was feeling a little better than before and had just freshly showered when I heard somebody ring the doorbell.

Kumatok sa kwarto ko ang kasama namin sa bahay and told me na meron akong bisita.

Apparently, Kuya Hero decided to drop by again today.

I told her to give me five minutes so she can help me go down and at least make myself look the most presentable I can so I can finally talk to him.

Noong unang beses kase na bumisita siya e hindi kami nakapagkita dahil hinang-hina pa ako at nakahiga lang sa kama.

We only got to talk over the phone habang nasa salas siya at awkward na awkward daw na mag-isa.

I put my thickest hoodie over my pajamas and sighed at the mirror before going down.

This is the most decent I could look and besides may girlfriend na siya, I reminded myself. Hindi naman na niya papansinin kahit ano pa itsura ko.

Habang pababa ako sa hagdan, nag-sommersault ang puso ko nang ma-realize ko na instead of Kuya Hero e si GD ang nakaupo sa may salas.

"Naisip ko na baka hindi mo ako kitain pag pinasabi ko pangalan ko e" he told me unabashedly.

Tumingin ako nang matalim sa kasama namin pero nginitian nya lang ako. "Manliligaw mo daw siya sabi niya e at saka nagmaka-awa talaga na makita ka. Ilang araw na din siya pumupunta dito para lang kumustahin ka sa akin e. Mukhang alalang-alala sa'yo kaya pinagbigyan ko na."

I sat on the other end of the sofa set and looked at him sharply. "Paano mo nalaman saan ako nakatira?"

"Tinanong ko kay Kuya Hero."

"Hindi ba niya sinabi sa'yo na medyo matindi yung sakit ko? Di ka ba natatakot mahawa?"

He smiled. "Malakas immunity ko. Hindi ako mabilis tablan nang sakit."

I bit the inside of my cheek trying to think of what I should say to him.

The last time na nagkita kami e sinigawan ko siya nang matindi at galit na galit ako pero kahit ganun pa man e andito pa rin siya ngayon. And apparently even in the past days too.

"Thank you sa pagpunta" I told him na lang as I fiddled with the ends of my hoodie.

It was a good gesture I still had to acknowledge.

"Gusto talaga kitang makita" he said "Namiss na kase kita."

I sighed in exasperation. Parang walang kwenta lahat nang sinabi ko sa kanya nung huli kaming magkita.

"GD, sabi ko sa'yo –"

He cut me off with a hand.

Nabigla ako nung tumayo siya and sat in front of me.

"Wala kang karapatang bawalan ako sa gusto kong sabihin" he told me really seriously.

"ANO?!?!?"

He reached out a hand to tuck my hair in and willed me to look at him. "Wala kang karapatan kase hindi mo alam kung ano ang nararamdaman ko. And you also don't know that I have always been watching you and that I can't keep you out of my mind kahit pilitin ko pa ang sarili ko. Hindi mo alam kung gaano ako nagpipigil na sabihin sa'yo halos minu-minuto na lang na gusto kita kase gustong-gustung-gusto talaga kita."