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"That wasn't so bad, was it?"

Kayla smiles at me encouragingly. How can she be so calm?

"It's impossible. People don't turn into wolves. That's a story, a horror movie. Not real."

"Think about it," she says. "You don't remember seeing me at all since you picked up that stray dog you called Lila?"

"Yeah, but those were just dreams–"

She shakes her head. "Daniel, I'm Lila."

I stare at her. Sure, her hair is the same color as Lila's fur, and she has the same warm brown eyes, but it's impossible. I bury my face in my hands. "I must be hallucinating again. Maybe Candi drugged me with that soup..."

Kayla sighs.

And waits.

It all runs through my head. Those dreams of Kayla where she's naked, when I fell asleep holding Lila. Those mixed up things from when I tried to kill myself. The footprints and paw prints on the floor.

If Kayla can turn into a wolf, then all those times I blacked out... I must have become a wolf then. I was a wolf when I killed all those people... that little baby...

"You're wrong," I tell Kayla.

"You just have to accept it–" she starts.

"No. You're wrong. My father did turn into a monster. And I'm a monster too." In a whisper I add, "I'm a killer."

She puts her hand around my shoulders and pulls me to her. "The wolf is the monster, not you. You have to learn how to control it, that's all."

I push her away and glare at her. "I just have to learn how to control it? What do you think I've been trying to do for the past three years? I killed a fucking little kid, for Christ's sake! I'm a goddamned monster!"

"Daniel, that... that was an accident. And it wasn't totally your fault."

"How can you say that? I was hungry and I smelled that little girl and then I ate her! Maybe 'the wolf' did it, but that was me licking my lips after I chewed open her head!"

dizziness

"Please, Daniel, hear me out." Kayla's voice has risen in panic. It's like she can feel the monster trying to take over. "That kid was already half-dead by the time you found her. There's another... we're being followed. They set a trap for you. They are the monsters, the ones who spilled her blood, knowing full well how hungry you were. You were starving and suffering from hypothermia, and you smelled fresh blood." The dizziness has subsided, but it still doesn't make sense to me. "I would have done the same thing if–"

"If what? If you were a monster?"

"That's not what I was going to say." She takes a deep breath. "Daniel, you don't understand the kind of danger we're in. These others... they're hunting for you. They want to kill you."

"Let them. I don't deserve to live."

"Stop being so selfish!" Kayla screams at me. "Do you have any idea what will happen to the rest of us if you get killed? Do you?"

I shake my head. I don't even know who she means by "the rest of us."

"It will be bad, Daniel. That's why we need you to come back. We need you to protect us."

I laugh. "Protect you? I can't even stop myself from killing – "

"If you mention that kid one more time, I will smack you," Kayla says. "This is serious. You're the strongest wolf any of us has ever seen. You took on three full-grown wolves by yourself on the night of your initiation." Her brown eyes gaze into mine. "You could save us all."

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