She Gave up

One.

A/N:

@english-rain , I honestly thank you. You don't know me, but your book "Why He Jumped" gave me the inspiration to write this, so thank you so much, other than that I have no idea what to tell you, just keep writing, your books are amazing ~ xx ~

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November 22nd, 2013 - 5.30 pm -

That was the day my best friend asked for me to sing her a song over the phone at five in the evening.

I denied her request. Laughing, thinking she was only messing around - She knew I didn't like to sing in front of people, or over the phone for that matter. But she asked again, pleading.

"That'd be the first and last time I ever ask" She said. "I promise that'd be the last time you hear me plead." Her voice indeed held a promise.

But I should've known better.

I should've picked up on her promising tone.

Instead, I simply agreed.

I still remember that moment, as I sat in the car, glancing at my brother who was driving me home. I still remember how anxious I suddenly became.

"Come on Stella, You can do this." She whispered from the other end. "You can do this even without my encouragement."

I was so naive. So oblivious. Her words were so clear.

It was like she was sending me a silent message -

that I never received.

I remember how I sighed and ignored my brother's stare when I started to sing.

I remember how I sang her favorite song, Skinny Love.

I remember hearing her sniff when I was done while I laughed and teased her about her overflowing emotions.

And I remember her taking about five minutes to reply back as I only heard her ragged breath.

"You have an amazing voice, I've told you before, haven't I?" She mumbled.

That was the only brief moment I even suspected anything - I asked her if everything was okay.

I was so damn stupid.

I remember hearing shuffling, then something hitting the floor and curses coming out of her mouth, but I only patiently waited for her reply.

So fucking stupid.

"Sure it is! Well, as okay as a cancer patient's life could be." She chuckled then grew quiet for a moment.

"I love you, you know that right?" She whispered, a few seconds later.

I should've sensed something was horribly wrong. I was such a horrible friend.

I should've known - AndInstead, I laughed.

But I should've fucking known damn it!

"Stop being such a depressed soul Amy!" I joked, hearing her faint laugh as well.

"I have to go, the nurse is here. I'll talk to you later okay?" She said, her voice small.

I thought she was probably tired from the chemotherapy - I was an Idiot.

I thought the nurse really did come into her room  - I was Stupid.

I thought she meant it when she said that everything was okay - I was Oblivious.

And I never even gave this conversation a second thought. Until now.

"I'll come over tomorrow and get you out of your depressed mood." I tried lightening up the mood "Until then, hang in there beanie." I reminded her, using my nickname for her.

I could only hear her chuckle, mumbling a quick 'okay, see you tomorrow' before the line broke.

5:30 in the evening that day was the last time I ever heard her voice.

Because she did break her word.

She never did talk to me again. She never did see me the next day.

And She broke her own word - She never did hang in there.

But I didn't break mine. And I saw her again the same night -

First, I stared at her. Then, I talked to her.

Right after that, I shook her. And then I yelled at her.

6.32 pm - I got another call.

It took me a while to answer it, because it was her mother's phone number and I was suddenly scared as my heart clenched, sensing something terribly wrong.

But I was too late.

I didn't want to answer the call - But I did eventually - I wish I didn't though.

Oh God I wish it was all just a nightmare.

I remember her mother's sobs. Her brother's yells of frustration in the background.

I remember her words - I remember the date she said, the time she announced to me.

I remember the chaos. And I remember my own shock.

I should've said I love you too.

I should've let her know I was here for her, just like she was always telling me she was here for me.

I should've known.

I should've fucking known.

I should've seen the signs, the hidden message behind her words.

I should've known.

But I didn't.

And it was too late now.

And I remember her mother's words perfectly "November 22nd, 2013 - 6.32 pm."

I dreaded those words.. the date, the time. I had always dreaded hearing them from her relatives.

Because I remember that was how we both agreed I'd receive the news about her death.

I always hoped I'd never hear them, not now, not ever.

But I heard them, loud and clear. I heard them and I heard the next three words.

"She gave up."

And the last thing I remember about that night, was the line breaking again.

Just like everything in me as well.