You'll Consume Her (Psalms of Desperation)

You'll Consume Her

I saw her standing there at the corner of Kahn and Soomer underneath the street light. There was a boujee clothing store there, and I was coming from the beer distributor, armed with two six-packs of Budweiser and a carton of cigarettes. The price of cigarettes has just gone up recently, so the brand that I bought won't be getting any free advertising from me. Fuck em'. I already sponsor them enough by paying them to potentially kill me. They use my disregard for my own life against me, in order to make a profit. Anyway, back to the broad on the boulevard waiting under the street light at the corner of Kahn and Soomer.

She looked a little out of place, dressed in a casual elegance for the most part. This wasn't the highest class part of the town and her non-dustiness stood out, even in the night. On the surface she was simply wearing a black sweater, with a black skirt; already dressed for the funeral. The elegance came from the gaudy decorations otherwise known as jewelry. She had on earrings, with a shiny necklace hovering just above the tits. A gold bracelet, or watch or something on her wrist. Gold! Gold! Gold! I wondered where and who she dug it up from.

She had a smartphone in her hand, which was kind of a turn off. Smartphones tend to make for socially awkward, dumb people. And people are already dumb enough for the most part, so there's no real reason to give them another outlet for it to prosper. However, that being said, maybe this broad will be dumb enough to fall for my brutally honest wrap. Some do.

I walked up to her hoping that I too would look as illuminating under that same street light. Or maybe I'd look better off to the shadowy side. It would seem to make more sense that way.

"Excuse me, you wouldn't happen to have a lighter would you?" I asked the mysterious bitch. Despite my suspect, out dated look, she didn't seem to be shook by my appearance. My eyes told her that I didn't pose a threat. Thank God for the baby blues, or else I'd just come off as some sketchy junkie trying to bum change, or commit rape.

"It depends," she replied, "Do you have an extra cigarette?"

She obviously had a lighter and was trying to squeeze a cigarette out of me. Unbeknownst to her, I already had a lighter. I was merely asking for light in order to initiate conversation.

"Never mind," I replied. I pulled out my own lighter lit my cigarette and started to walk home. Then I heard her voice yelling in my direction.

"If you already had a lighter why would you ask me for one?" she asked. I'd left enough of an impression for her to be somewhat intrigued, which created a sense of interest in the air. I turned around and started walking back towards her.

"If you knew you had a lighter, why would you try to take advantage and try to finesse a cigarette off of me?" I asked.

"I don't know. It seemed like a fair trade I guess. But you didn't answer my question," she replied.

"I forgot your question already. I apologize. What was it again?"

"I said, if you already had a lighter, why did you ask me for one?"

"Oh yeah, right. That was your question. To be honest, I just needed to make up some sort of reason to come over and talk. So far it seems to be working."

"Why not just come up and talk? Why make up a reason?" she asked.

"Because then I'd have nothing to say. I need a topic to go on, so I can feel it out. I can't just come up and say, 'Hello. I'm Bud and I'm striking up this conversation to eventually build enough of a rapport with you where we end up fucking. But not to be a complete scumbag, I'll try to get to know you as a human being during the process as well.' The cigarette wrap just seemed easier," I replied.