He's The Boss [EDITING]

♚ CHAPTER 8 ♚

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He's The Boss -  Chapter Eight  |  Copyright © 2016 by MzPretentious 

CHAPTER EIGHT

HEARING THOSE WORDS COME OUT OF HIS BEAUTIFUL MOUTH made my heart stop beating for a second... and then it started beating very fast. Sa sobrang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko ay parang tatalbog na ito palabas ng dibdib ko. My breath was caught up in my throat and I felt my cheeks flushed.

This isn't the first time na sinabihan ako ni James ng I LOVE YOU. Paulit-ulit niyang sinasabi yan nung nanliligaw pa siya noong high school kami. Madalas ko lang balewalain yun dati kasi alam kong puppy love lang naman yun. We were just naive and clueless teenagers back then. We were young and I don't think we really know what love is at that time.

Pero bakit ganito ang nararamdaman ko ngayon?

I felt so overwhelmed. I was so full of emotions I can't even comprehend. I can feel the intensity of his words... and the sincerity behind it.

I was speechless.

"J-james... I... I don--" bago pa ako makapag-construct ng matinong mamasabi ay pinutol na ako ni James.

"You don't have to say anything, sweetheart. I don't expect you to return my feelings." Nakangiti yung mga labi niya noong sabihin niya yun pero iba naman ang sinasabi ng mga mata niya.

Inabot ko yung dalawang kamay niya at mariin itong pinisil. Bahagya siyang yumuko. Inangat ko ang ulo niya gamit ang hintuturo ng kanang kamay ko.

"James... I don't know how to say this..." pagsisimula ko.

"I told you. You don't have to say anything. You don't have to return my feelings." malungkot niyang sabi at saka nag-iwas ng tingin.

Binitiwan ko ang mga kamay niya at hinawakan ko ang magkabilang pisngi niya para di niya maiwas ang tingin niya. I looked him straight in the eye.

"I'm not saying I don't love you James but I don't think I love you the way you want me to. You're the only thing I have right now. Malaki ang utang na loob ko sa'yo dahil kinupkop mo ako, inalagaan, binihisan, pinakain at binigyan ng matitirahan. You're the only thing I don't want and can't afford to lose. You're very precious to me." humugot ako ng hininga bago nagpatuloy sa pagsasalita. "I... I really want to love you the way you love me... but I just can't. I'm incapable of that feeling right now. I'm confused and I... I'm scared. Natatakot ako na baka iwan mo rin ako. Kapag... kapag nangyari yun, hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko."

Nalaglag yung kamay ko mula sa pisngi niya. Isa-isang tumulo ang mga luha na ilang araw ko na ring pinipigilan.

I looked down to hide my tear-stained face. I can't imagine what will happen to me kapag nawala na rin sa'kin si James. Hindi ko na alam kung saan na naman ako pupulutin. Baka sa susunod na magkasakit ako dahil sa pagod at gutom ay matuluyan na ako. I'll surely die... and nobody will care.

I was surprised when James pulled me into an embrace. Hindi ko namalayang lumipat siya sa tabi ko from the other side of booth. He hugged me so tightly at first but it loosened after a while. Masuyo niyang hinimas ang buhok ko. Masarap sa pakiramdam ang ginagawang pagyakap sa akin ni James. It makes me feel warm and safe.

"Shhh. I would never leave you again Clara. Never." buong puso niyang sabi.

It made me cry harder.

Hindi man niya ako gustuhing iwanan, pwede pa rin siya mawala sa akin. Paano kung may mangyari din sa kaniyang masama? Paano kung may manakit at pumatay din sa kaniya katulad sa nangyari sa kuya ko? Paano kung maaksidente siya katulad ng mga magulang ko? Hindi ko na yata kakayanin kapag may isa pang importanteng tao ang kukunin sa akin.