Lost and Found (manxboy) ✓

Chapter Eight

Jon thought it was best if I didn't drive home, so he helped me into his truck then walked around and got in.

I stared at the bookstore, dark once again after we left.

I was thinking something, but I wasn't sure if I could actually go through with it. It was a big step and I didn't know if I was ready.

I realized that Jon was watching me from the driver's seat. I gave him a small smile and looked back at the store, rubbing my cheek.

"What would you say if I wanted to open the store again?" I asked, quiet and hesitant.

He only paused for a second before he said, "I think that would be great, Beau." He sounded very truthful.

I sighed. I just didn't know about this. But I knew deep down that it was the right thing to do and I knew for sure that it's what Harrison would have wanted. He didn't want his beloved store to sit and gather dust and never have people read his favorite books.

I wrapped my arms around myself and Jon reached over, rubbing his hand over my thigh.

"It's scary," I said and paused for a moment. "Will you help me? Open the store I mean?"

"Of course, baby," he said without hesitation.

"I will have no clue what I'm doing," I said, laughing in a self deprecating way.

"It's okay. You'll learn along the way. And I already run my own business, I can help a lot."

"I know."

Jon must have been reading my mind because he didn't start the truck, just stayed in the parking lot while I thought. And I was thinking a lot.

There was so much stuff that needed to be done. There was one more step I needed to take, but it was even scarier than reopening the store.

I could tell I was getting choked up again, but I started talking before I could second guess my decision.

"Harrison's house—our home—has been my safety blanket for the past seven years," I said and I knew that Jon was listening intently. I kept my eyes focused on the store. "I moved in with him only a couple months after we started dating. I never regretted that decision. His home was my home as soon as I stepped foot in it. It was my favorite place to be. I loved being there with Harrison, cuddling on the couch and watching movies. And now..." I whimpered, eyes filling with tears. "It just hurts to be there, but I don't know if I can let it go."

Jon tucked my hair behind my ear.

"I can't even pay the bills." I sobbed. "I should leave. I should. I'll get my own apartment. I'll barely be able to pay for that."

Jon ran his hand through my hair for a minute, not saying anything. Just his presence and touch was calming to me.

"I have an idea," I said finally. I turned to look at him to let him know I was listening. He smiled. "How about you stay at my place tonight?" I opened my mouth, shocked. How was that a good solution? "Here me out," he said. "We don't have to do anything. We don't even have to sleep in the same bed. But you can see how you feel being away from home and decide what to do next after that."

I sighed. It was a good idea when he put it that way. I was still nervous to go to his place though. I knew he wouldn't expect me to sleep with him and I thought it was too soon for that anyways, but it might be nice to at least sleep in the same house as someone again. I had been alone for what felt like so long now.

"Alright," I said quietly. "I'd like to try." I looked over at him, a hesitant expression on my face.

This may have been even scarier than reopening the store. Jon and I seemed to be moving so quickly and it was frightening because it felt so familiar. Being caught up in a whirlwind romance.