euphoria

three

Avery was now two weeks into school, and it was passing by far quicker than he had imagined it would. With the help of Sammi, Malachi, and Jake, it seemed as if the hours passed as seconds. His teachers actually called him Avery, and used the right pronouns. All in all, it seemed life was looking up for him. But, one thing loomed in the back of his mind and constantly bugged him every waking second of his day; testosterone. When he'd get it, the day, the month, the year. He had asked his mother and of course she had said yes, but that was months ago. They'd gone to their therapist, finally, after waiting so long for a response.  The next step was getting into contact with his doctor, and scheduling an appointment. This had been done months ago as well, and Avery had to admit that he was sick of waiting. He wanted the final approval, the go ahead, and he wanted it as soon as possible

But he also respected the fact that his mother needed time. After all, he had come out to her three years ago and even then drastic changes had happened. At first, she wouldn't call him Avery. She never uttered the right name or pronouns, but after Avery's father had died, she had sat down with him and finally they had a long discussion. She had finally come to terms with the loss of her daughter, and said she was ready to celebrate the arrival of her new son. Ever since then, Avery was the only name ever uttered from her mouth whenever they had spoken. They were inseparable, and Avery greatly valued his relationship with his mom. So, months ago he had come to the decision to wait until she was ready to get testosterone. He knew he was prepared, but also knew she was still hesitant. But a few weeks before his birthday, Avery's world was greatly changed; and for him, in the best way possible.

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'Avery!' His mother called up the steps, and Avery's head jerked up from his textbook. He frowned a bit in confusion, placing his pencil on his book in order to mark his place before walking downstairs. 

'Yeah, mom?' He asked with a raised eyebrow, noticing her gleeful expression. This was all too suspicious for his taste, his mother always being one to hide her emotions. But, this time he had to admit that the way she was acting was quite strange.

'You know a few months ago? With Dr. Lee?' She asked with a grin, her hands behind her back as she fiddled with something. Avery's suspicion only heightened with her actions, and he tried to glance behind her back. She turned away sharply, playfully flicking his nose.

'You mean the Chinese guy whose office always smelled like mothballs?' Avery said warily, a small smile on his face as he scrunched his nose. 'Yes, mom, I know him. Now what're you so happy about?' He asked with a chuckle, and his mother merely shrugged. 

'Hold out your hands and close your eyes.' She said quietly, and Avery grudgingly obliged. He had hated surprises, and being out of the loop was one of his pet peeves. But he felt the texture of paper in his hand, running his thumb over it slowly and making sure he didn't get a paper cut. Slowly, he opened his eyes to see a letter saying;

'I, Dr. Chung Lee, recommend Avery Smith to be administered testosterone under my signature. I believe he is a good candidate, showing all of the proper signs needed in order to be given testosterone. He shows dysphoria, the main determining factor of whether he receives his first dose of testosterone. 

Mrs. Smith and her son will be given the vials, needles, and syringes needed in order to properly be given testosterone, and will be covered with their insurance. I will make routine checkups of Avery in order to make sure that he is medically well enough in order to continue testosterone treatment.

Congratulations, Avery. 

- Dr. Chung Lee, PhD'

Avery's eyes widened in shock, and a grin formed on his face as he looked at his mother, whose expression equally matched her son's. In her hand was the vial, needle, and syringe for his first dose. He was still reeling from the information, laughing in disbelief before pulling his mom in the tightest hug he could manage.

She let out a loud laugh, wrapping an arm around him and hugging him tightly. 'Avery! I can't breathe!' She complained playfully, and he quickly pulled away with a sheepish smile. After a few moments she motioned for him to sit down and pull up his shirt, before stopping. 'Avery, do you want to do it?' She asked softly, and Avery eagerly nodded his head.

'Mom, I usually hate needles. But this time, I think I love them.' Avery snorted, grabbing the vial and drawing the testosterone into the syringe. He lightly tapped the syringe as the doctor had told him he would have to, before taking an alcohol wipe and sterilizing the area he had decided to put the needle in. He glanced at his mom, tears in her eyes and a grin on her face as she recorded the moment that Avery would always remember. 

Today was his first day on testosterone. His first day beginning his journey in order to become the man he had dreamed of being for so long. It was funny how much his life had changed, and he had to admit that he couldn't complain about it. 

Afterward, Avery hugged his mom again, physical affection seemingly the only way he could show how happy he was at the moment. They stood in the kitchen for awhile, both crying and laughing like idiots as they just hugged. In that moment, Avery couldn't have been happier. He could imagine life without his mom, and he didn't ever want it to happen.

Finally he pulled away from her, laughing slightly as he noticed the tears on his shirt. He playfully rolled his eyes and huffed, his voice whiny as he said, 'Mom, you got your snot on me. Come on!'

All she did was playfully smack his arm, motioning for him to go upstairs again and start studying. Avery rushed up the steps and grabbed his phone, marking this day in his calendar so that he would never forget it;

'1st day on testosterone. 1st day becoming me, and many more to come.'

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okok so y'all will probably complain about how rushed this story is going. but truly, with what i have in mind, rushed is far from what i'd use to describe euphoria. as said in this chapter, avery had come out over three years ago. this was three years that he had transitioned physically (clothes, names,  pronouns, etc). but, gradually this story will be explaining his transition both emotionally and mentally.

just know that this story will not be short. if anything, i plan on even making it a series of sorts. but i'm not promising anything until i know for sure.

also know that i made this story positive because i was sick of seeing these depressing stories in the media. i wanted kids to know that not every coming out experience is negative or abusive. that they don't always have to think that every single transgender story is negative. i wanted to do something different and portray avery with an accepting mother, and that in itself is what i love about this story; avery and his mother's relationship. that is one of my favorite parts of this book. it won't be the romance, or the drama. it will be avery's growth as a person and how this will help him.

so, keep reading. i promise you all that i am here if you ever feel like your situation is not good. if you are unsafe coming out to your family, come out to me. i will be your family. i cannot promise i will always be able to help or provide the right answers, but i'll try my best to give you the advice you need.

i love you guys, okay?

-emmett