daddy [k.j]

xxiv.

youtube video:

"i think it's time for the truth," i sigh, pushing my hair back off my face, and tucking it behind my ear. "there's been a lot of talk recently; particularly about my love life. and what surprises me the most is that the smallest interaction between me and a guy and we're suddenly in a relationship."

"but at the the same time, i don't think that i should have to hide my feelings and try to deceive people just because i have a following and am a little more well known than a lot of people out there," i say, using my hand to wipe away my tears before they get the chance to roll down my cheek. "i joined the riverdale cast and yes i did flirt with kj and charles, but that doesn't mean i deserve to be labelled as a slut or a whore; it just means that i'm a single girl getting to know two single and attractive guys. i never thought that i'd ever develop a relationship with one of them."

"the more i spent time with kj; the more and more i fell for him, which is why we started dating. i didn't want to tell everyone which is why i continued to flirt with charles. not because i wanted to sleep with him or be with him, but just so i'd come across as a normal single girl. that's if you can even call it flirting; it's just the type of friendship we have. but that backfired," i sniff, finding it had to bite back my tears. "i got called a slut for it."

"then i got the most incredible opportunity to work with harry styles who is a phenomenal artist. and just because we're similar in age and he's clearly attractive; i'm instantly labelled a slut again which made me want to stop singing, acting, modelling, everything. because i felt that whatever i did i was a slut for doing so, despite being in a committed relationship."

"this brings us to a few days ago when zayn posted a picture of the two of us that was taken over a year ago. i was confused, and do you know what? i still am. zayn was not a good boyfriend; he was unfaithful, and just treated me like nothing and i don't know why he does the things he does. i never have and i never will. this had absolutely nothing to do with me except i was in the picture, but for some reason it's me who's wrong and me who's still the fucking slut!"

"i just want you all to know the truth and the truth is that i am mad about keneti james fitzgerald apa, but we're no longer together because i left it too long to tell you all which made him doubt me and end our relationship after constantly trying to work through every problem i created. and i just want to say that i'm sorry to all of you guys and most of all to kj."