Intoxicated: Clayton Wilder

Chapter 1

April 10th, Sunday

Day One Without Eve...

"You really have to stop drinking." Her voice cut through my daydream. I stopped staring at the wall in front of me, and looked at her, my face not baring any expression. I didn't feel anything.

"How would I cope with all this shit then?" I exhaled and rubbed my eyes with my hard knuckles. I was numb – whether it was because of the booze or the accident I did not know.

"Oh, Clay!" She moved closer, and rubbed her hand against my leg. Pity. I moved away, and placed my elbows on my thighs, hunching and smashing my face against my open palms, "You know it wasn't your fault, and the court saw that it was all an accident. You're not guilty."

"I feel so guilty, though."

"It will get better."

I stood up and walked to the window. I leaned over the windowsill, staring into the distance, "Please... I don't want to talk about it..."

"I'm just saying it will be ok." She leaned back in the couch. I felt her stare burn the back of my head. I shut my eyes and tried not to be overwhelmed – too late. I let out a scream of exhausted pain and my face turned a light shade of rose red.

"It's going to be ok? Ok? Are you fucking kidding me? I just killed someone... like two months ago! A boy... a little fucking boy, and I ran him over with my fucking... car..." I exhaled and tried to calm down, only to fail and erupt again, "Why? Why? Why!" I punched the wall repeatedly with every "why" I managed to blurt out, feeling like choking.

"Jesus, Clay!" She rose and tried to stop me. I pushed her away.

"Stop trying to help me! Just leave. I nearly killed you, too." I eyed my coat, but stopped and was startled when she hugged me, "Please... leave..."

"You need me right now! You don't really want me to leave, do you?"

I had no idea what I wanted.

I stared into her eyes, and she stared back. She gave me the faint of a smile. Then I found her hands wrapped around my back, and I untangled them and let them go. I returned my attention to the coat, and in a split second I decided to rush to it and retrieve a pack of cigarettes and lighter. I eluded Eve and went to the window. I lit up one of the cigarettes, but before I could raise it to my lips, she slapped my hand and the cigarette fell out the window.

"Clay!"

"What the fuck?" I shouted. I stared at her. She opened her mouth to speak, but I shook my hands in her face vigorously, "I swear to God Eve, if you say one more thing-"

"What, are you going to threaten me now?"

"Eve, I suggest you leave... Whenever I look at you, I remember the state you were in back there and the boy – you remind me of the worst thing that ever happened to me."

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