Into the Fire

Break Down The Walls

I wake up to complete darkness. I feel this void inside of me, this loneliness.

I groan and roll over to check the time, 3:28am.

I just feel the tears form, I just.. Miss Ben so damn much. Despite what he did, I can't help but to crave him.

I miss his lips, his voice, his face, his smile, I miss being in his arms.. Feeling safe.

Without thinking I get up, I don't bother to put my shoes on, I just climb out of my window and walk over to Ben's house.

It's a cold night, but I don't care. If I get to see Ben, I'll walk miles in the cold for him.

I look up at his window and see a light on, I climb up to his window and open in, climbing in.

I see Ben's body in a ball, shaking.

"....Ben?" I hesitate to say.

"Roni," I hear him sniff and I watch his arms as he wipes his face.

He sits up and puts his feet on the floor, not facing me.

I walk over to him hesitantly. I kneel in front of him.

His eyes are bloodshot red and puffy, his cheeks are rose red but the rest of his face is pale. He looks worse than how he looked earlier today, like he hasn't eaten or slept at all.

"What are you doing to yourself?" I softly speak, placing my palm gently to his cheek. He feels cold.

"I'm sorry Roni, I really am.." Ben begins to cry, looking me in the eye

I don't know what to say, my heart aches for him, it hurts me to see him cry.

"Have you eaten anything since yesterday?" I ask.

"I'm so sorry," He begins to sob.

"Ben, have you eaten?"

"N-no,"

I sigh, "stay here,"

I walk downstairs and look in his fridge for food. I make him toast with strawberry jam, I know it's his favourite. I also grab him a glass of water.

I sigh and take it up to him.

"Here, eat," I tell him, holding it out to him.

"Roni, I can't tell you enough how sorry I am, I know sorry doesn't always fix thing-"

"Eat." I cut him off, kneeling back down in front of him.

Ben takes the food and eats slowly, putting the remaining toast to the side, he drinks the water and wipes his mouth, then looks at me, tears still falling from his saddened eyes.

"W-what did you come over for?" Ben wipes his tears, not looking at me.

"I missed you a lot.. Next thing I know I'm climbing out of my window and into yours," I kind of chuckle a bit.

I see Ben crack a half of a smile.

It becomes quiet, neither of us knowing what to say.

"Look Ben.." I begin.

"It's okay if you want to break up with me, after all I was a shitty boyfriend.. I'm a shitty person to of hurt you like this.." Ben beats himself down.

"Ben, you weren't a shitty boyfriend, you aren't, and you aren't a shitty person, you're the most genuine, smart, kind, caring, funny, outgoing, and attractive guy I've ever met," I make eye contact with him.

"How can you say that to me after what I did?" Ben let's a few tears slide.

I take my thumb and wipe away his tears. "Because I love you, I love you Ben,"

I stand up and climb onto his lap, hugging him.

He hugs me back, tight. I hear him cry, I cry as well.

"I thought I lost you forever.." Ben cries.

"You could never lose me Ben," I tell him.

I pull away from the hug and trace my thumb over his lips, looking between his lips and his eyes.

"I love you," I tell him, kissing him.

He kisses me passionately, I take his face in my hands and kiss him.

He breaks the kiss and keeps our foreheads touching.

"I love you so much Roni, I promise you I won't ever hurt you like that again," Ben promises me.

"Thank you Ben," I kiss him gently.

Ben let's me stand up, he lays back down and I lay with him. He wraps his arms around me we fall asleep together. I feel safe again.

I wake up to Ben's alarm going off. I groan and poke Ben.

"Mm," He groans.

"Ben, how do I shut it off?" I ask.

"Leave it, lets just stay here," He snuggles into me more.

"It's annoying," I whine, kissing his cheek.

"The button on the left," Ben tells me.

I hit the button on the left and the alarm shuts off. I go to get up but Ben pulls me back.

"Stay here with me," He groans.

"Ben you know we can't," I tell him, cuddling him.

"Can't or won't?"

He opens his eyes to look at me.

"Can't, you know I have to keep a good attendance for now," I kiss him and get out of bed. "I'm going back home, meet me in ten?"

"Sure, why not," Ben smiles at me.

"Love you," I kiss the top of his head and walk over to his door.

"I love you most," Ben watches.

"This isn't a competition," I laugh.

"I just want to get my point across," Ben chuckles.

I playfully roll my eyes and leave his room.

I'm glad him and I worked things out. I love him, I love him so much.