Silent Voice

Chapter 16 - The Decision

Claire rolls out of bed and tucks her feet into her fluffy purple slippers. She rubs her eyes and shuffles towards the closet.

She'll be going out for the first time since the Phil Phillips fiasco. The Autism Rescue support group is meeting again, and Claire wants to be there. She's not sure how much she trusts the group anymore, but Glitter will be there, and Claire wants to see Glitter.

So Claire picks out a cute outfit: classy white skirt with black stripes, dark purple tank top, and a relaxed jean jacket. It looks breezy, polished, crisp. Which maybe will help Claire feel the same way. She's smooth, untouchable, graceful, like a marble statue. A statue that no one, not Phil Phillips, not her mother, not Angel, not anyone can crack.

Because Claire is almost an adult, and adults are strong.

Claire goes to the bathroom and brushes her hair, pulling the top half of it back so it will stay out of her face. She looks in the mirror. A strong young woman looks back at her. Nothing like the small girlish face that Claire had seen in the Phil Phillips studio mirror.

This is a look of her own choosing. Claire will define herself on her own terms.

She surveys her room, looks at the clock. The support group doesn't meet until later this afternoon. Claire has been putting off working on the essay for Angel. He had sent her some other essays to read, to help her understand what he wants. Perhaps Claire will read them.

Claire opens her email on her phone. One of the essays is from Glitter's dad. Maybe she'll read it in Pop's home office, on the big monitor. He's at the office today, and he doesn't mind Claire borrowing his workspace when he isn't there.

Claire walks to the home office, turns on Pop's computer, and opens up the essay to read it.

I live in a prison and autism is the warden.

Other houses are filled with children's laughter, and drawings on fridges. Mine is ripped with the sounds of screaming, splattered with paint and food, torn apart by a tornado called autism.

...

There will be no peace while she lives here. I can only wait and wonder. When will I be free of these horrors? When can I rid myself of this autism nightmare for good?

Science has no answer. I will have to make my own solution.

Claire stares at the screen. His own solution? What?

He couldn't be thinking about... hurting Glitter?

Claire blinks at the essay in front of her, the words seeming blurry on the screen. If a child is in danger, then Claire needs to call Child Protective Services. But... is Glitter in danger? She doesn't know what to do!

She needs to think. If Glitter is in danger, then CPS could help her stay safe. But it could change her life forever. And if Glitter is not in danger and Claire calls CPS, then maybe it would upset Mr. White? Could he take it out on Glitter if Claire called?

Claire doesn't know, doesn't know. She just wants Glitter to be safe. She has to protect Glitter. But how? How can Claire possibly know what's best?

And then Claire remembers she doesn't have to do this alone.

She has two dads. Pop is at work, but her dad is at home. He's mowing the lawn right now, but Claire thinks that this is important enough to interrupt him. He can talk her through the options and give her an adult perspective, to help her know what's right.