The Balance: A Star Wars Story

Chapter I: Warmth

He sat, looking down at his reflection. The floor was so clean that his quarters' reflection appeared upside-down. There was two of everything. Two tables, two chairs, food units, and two of himself.

He was cold. He always felt as if the vast vacuum of space sucked away any warmth on board. It took the light out of everything. He might as well have been in a padded room with glass floors, alone. Always alone.

Since his reign of The First Order began a few months ago, the sheen of his power had worn off. Sure, everyone was afraid of him. But at what cost? He walked the halls and felt fear surrounding him from every angle. Other than a glimpse of disgust from Hux, who Kylo made sure to mess with. After all, he had to keep Hux in line. His was also the only emotion he sensed other than fear. Always fear.

Kylo chuckled to himself as he remembered the look on General Hux's face when he had threatened to kill him. He had said that he would give his position to the next commander in line, but he would never do it. Hux was somehow his closest... well, not exactly friend but they knew each other's ticks. It's not like they walked the halls together or had dinner, but they had a banter that wasn't hatred.

Kylo picked up a half glass of dark liquor and threw it back. His raven hair moved out and back into place as he threw his head back. He looked down again, staring at the monster that he was. The one part of him had always feared he would become.

Monster. She had called him that. She knew what he was. Her eyes were burning with hatred when she first said it. She'd spat out the word so viciously that he, Kylo Ren, the Prince of Darkness felt it pierce his soul. That feeling never left him. With every glance of his reflection he felt that pain and that darkness burned in him.

It had been months since he saw her. She escaped on The Falcon, in the mountain of the salt planet Crait. Leaving him to rule The First Order alone. Always alone. She could have been by his side. Bringing an end to the Jedi and the Sith religions, but she chose to flee and run away with the resistance that he so hated. The rebellion that took everything away from him.

His parents were so caught up in the cause that they never had time for him. They never saw his confusion in himself and by the time Kylo was slipping into the darkness, all he had was his master, Luke Skywalker. Kylo's uncle Luke, the legend. But Luke sensed it too and turned on him.

Kylo poured another glass of liquor and looked around at the emptiness. His quarters were obviously the biggest on the ship. He was the Supreme Leader after all. Lavish and extravagant, but he didn't even notice. He could have lived in a black pit for all he cared. He turned out of the kitchen and started walking to his room at the end of the hallway.

He stopped. He felt it. He felt the light. He looked up and into her eyes.

********

Rey looked across the fire. She felt the heat pulling her attention but it was somehow cold. He was there. His eyes piercing her soul and his raven hair gently framing his face. He was dressed in black, of course. Black silk pants and a black shirt showing off his scarred arms. Were those pajamas?

She was stunned. She couldn't move.

"Monster," she thought. And then after one second of anger, she remembered the good. Him saving her, their fight against the red armored guards. That fight. It was more like a dance. She remembered the way he looked at her when she left him on Crait. The hurt that was in his eyes when she shut the door to The Falcon. She felt guilty.

********

"Rey?" Kylo said. He was still frozen at the end of his hallway. Holding the glass of brown liquid. He felt warmth. She was glowing. He could sense her tension. And then he blinked and she was gone.

Kylo looked down at the liquor. For a moment he was happy. Maybe happy wasn't the word for it but he was warm. He felt the light and then he was consumed by the cold darkness. Kylo threw back his third drink and tried to clear his head. Had she really been there? Had he had too much to drink? He didn't know, but he wanted her to come back. He wanted the warmth to come back.

********

Rey couldn't move, she was shocked. "Hey, you look kind of pale." Poe said as he handed her another glass of wine.

The rebellion was celebrating. They had a base, plenty of weapons, The First Order had no idea where they were and they had recently made agreements with three more systems, adding four bombers and a handful of X-Wings to the fleet. Their success wasn't luck, though. Word travels fast. After the story of Luke Skywalker battling against The First Order had gotten out, the galaxy had been given hope once more. The same hope that had already gotten them this far.

Rey stood motionless. Stunned. Poe saw Rose and Finn headed her way and immediately started making small talk. Rey was zoned out. Had she just saw what she thought she saw? Who she thought she saw? She looked down at the glass of wine. She swirled it and threw it back. She knew she was suppose to sip it but that didn't stop her. She flinched.

"Rey? Tomorrow. Are you in?" Finn asked.

Rey had no clue what he had said. So instead of making everyone aware that she just had simply not been there for the conversation, she nodded and smiled. It was something she was good at. Being there but not truly "being there".

Puzzled by the sight of Kylo, Rey scanned the bon fire the rest of the night, searching for him in the flames. After her fourth glass of the bitter liquid, she gave up and blamed her "vision" on the wine. She didn't drink much. At least not as much as the pilots or the soldiers, so she could always feel herself letting go of her mind when she did.

After the celebration was over, the four of them strolled down the streets and towards the little neighborhood area they had been calling home for the past several weeks. Of course, they were all neighbors. They got to choose their huts, why wouldn't they choose to live near their friends? Friends. She had friends.

Rey smiled and waved goodnight as they all parted ways. When she entered her abode she immediately balanced on one leg and threw her shoe off. She did the same for the other, took off her vest and walked towards her bathing room.

Being from Jakku, Rey was still not accustomed to the luxury of running water. She had a giant tub that was made of rock and then a shower that was nothing but a hose sticking out of the wall and a drain in the floor. She always opted for the shower. The bath seemed a bit lavish for her. She just wanted to feel clean.

She was in and out in two minutes. She combed her hair and had put on the soft taupe robe that Rose had given her. It was her favorite piece of clothing that she owned. If she could wear it in public she would, but no one would take a Jedi in a bath robe seriously. She had to tell herself that daily.

Rey walked out of her bathing room, and into the living quarters where she sat curled up in a hard rock chair. She grabbed a book and began lightly reading it while also letting her mind wander.

The book, the Jedi text was some of the last pieces of the Jedi religion and Rey was trying to study it. She wasn't really reading it though, not tonight. It wasn't a page-turner. She often picked up some literature to ease her mind before bed, it helped calm her dreams.

She felt her eyes getting heavy shut the text, and went to her bedroom. Before she knew it, she was in a deep wine sleep.

********

Kylo's eyes opened. He felt her. She was near.

He rolled over scanning the room. But instead of her standing in front of him, like she always had been when they Force linked, she was lying down. Sleeping beside him.

Should he wake her? Was this still some effect from the liquor? Did she know she was there? Had she come here on her own? These were all questions that entered his mind within seconds. And then the fleeting thought that he could do it. He could end her, right there. Her guard was down. If he got rid of the light, he could become total darkness. The purest power in the Galaxy.

The thought left him as fast as his other questions had and instead of questioning anything else, he laid back down. He didn't want answers. He was warm. He was happy.

*Authors note: Thank you so much for reading! More chapters will be coming soon. If you liked it, please vote and comment so others can find it. Thanks!