I Wanna Be Yours (Arctic Monkeys Fanfiction) UPDATED VERSION

24 | Bus Blues

I was listening to music and watching the window of the bus. Pasadena glowed golden at night, bright windows lighting up the leaves of palm trees, lanterns painting the canvas of the roads in orange. Most of the buildings weren't more than a few stories high. The inside of the bus was bright and that made it hard to see from the windows because of the reflections. It was cold near the cracks of the glass.

Matt and Nick decided to head out for a drink with Collin, so they weren't in the bus. Matt felt bad Collin never got that drink he wanted after the festival. It was initially awkward when Jamie, Alex, and I were the only ones on the bus—but I put in my earbuds to try and ignore the tension.

I probably wasn't supposed to hear the conversation behind me, but the music stopped after my phone died. Jamie was speaking to Alex in hushed tones. "I get it, I do, you don't want her to be hurt. But you can't do anything about it."

From the distorted reflection near the top of the window, I could see interpretations of the two. Jamie was in a denim jacket, denim jeans, black shirt, and Alex in a tight fitting navy tee and sunglasses despite it being dark out. Alex paused. "I'm not doing it, but I'm allowing it to happen. That's practically the same."

"You're not allowing it. Collin is forcing the situation."

"If Collin wasn't our manager, we wouldn't need to worry about this."

"So, what? Are you saying we fire the guy that's helped us through every bump in the road, planned every event, and stuck by our sides for years? Is that what you're suggesting?"

"He's been teetering off the edge for a while and you know it. If it weren't for the fact that he's been here for a long time, I wouldn't have it. It's unfair to let somebody who never asked for fame be harassed by it."

"You're just saying this because it's a reminder of Arielle." Jamie crossed his arms. The pores in his cheeks were nipped red. 

Alex said nothing for a second, and I listened to the sound of the breeze hitting the bus. My stomach turned in my seat. "Arielle wanted the attention, and embraced it. Leah's been dragged by the us and the media and we haven't done anything about it."

"That's not what I mean," Jamie said under his breath. "You can be honest with me, Al. When you two broke up, she got most of the hate for it. You're just worried that when you are forced to break up with Leah, the same thing will happen. But that's not true, not necessarily."

I stilled. Maybe there's not as much time as I thought—after all, this plan wasn't meant to last forever. I left the fact that I'd have to go home afterwards in the back of my head and never truly addressed it. Suddenly, I lost my appetite.

Alex's voice softened. "But what if it does? How can I live with that guilt?"

"I'm going to tell you something Katie told me." Jamie's feet shuffled under the movement of the bus. "She said that some things are prone to die, no matter how much you water or sun you give it. There might be a hurricane or a storm the next day. You never know how long it has left, so the only thing you can do is tend to it and hope."

"Why'd she tell you that?"

I felt like I was eavesdropping too much. My lips pressed together as I heard Jamie's voice—it was so sad. "We called it off yesterday," he whispered, rubbing his brow bone. His voice cracked. "It wasn't working for her anymore."

I tried to focus on the lights, but it wasn't working. Alex's jaw went slack, eyebrows tilted up. He hugged Jamie. "I'm so sorry."

"It's probably for the best," Jamie whispered, breaking away and wiping his nose. "Maybe she was right. It was prone to die eventually."

"Everything is prone to die, I s'pose," Alex said. His voice held an airy quality that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. "So the only thing to do is try in between. I'll keep it inside before the storm comes; there's no point to life if you're just tending to it."