i fall apart - grayson dolan

3

sahar

"she told me that i'm not enough." he sings

shit.

"and  she left me with a broken heart."

i fucked up.

"she fooled me twice and it's all my fault."

"shit." i mumble, putting my hand over my mouth. this was about me.

"she cut too deep, now she left me scarred."

tears were running down my cheek.

"now there's so many thoughts going through my brain. now i'm taking this shot like it's novocaine."

"what's wrong?" sammy asks.

"ooooh, i fall apart. down to my core. ooh i fall apart down to my core. ooh i didnt know it before. surprised when you caught me off guard. all this damn jewelry i bought. you was my shorty i thought."

i glimpse down at my ring, "don't look at it now but there's something incrusted on the ring. kinda gay, but really sweet."

i quickly pull off the ring and look on the inside.

"for my baby, whom i'd fall apart without."

"jack, i'm gonna go. don't worry about me okay? i'll have kelsey come get me." i yell into jacks ear. he nods and i excuse myself out of the arena.

when i walk out of the doors more tears start falling down my face.

i didnt want kelsey to see me like this so i decided on calling her when i'm done.

i walk over to the side of the building where no one was and sit down against the wall.

"fuck." i sob into my arms.

i hear someone walk up and sit beside me.

i slowly lift my head up to see who it was, and of course it was grayson.

"damn it." i mumble as i watch him.

he has a bottle of fireball in his hand, along with a pack of cigarettes.

grayson pulls out a lighter and a cigarette and lights it up. when he sees me staring, he offers me one.

"thanks." i mumble as he lights it.

i really never smoke but hopefully it'll calm my nerves.

"grayson." i mumble.

"what?" he croaks, looking at me.

"do you hate me?" i ask.

he laughs sarcastically and rolls his eyes, "you broke my fucking heart."

"doesn't answer my question.."

"you didn't let me finish." he snaps, "you broke my fucking heart, but i could never hate you."

i nod.

"so where's your boyfriend?" he takes a swig of his drink.

"hmm? sammy? not my boyfriend." i laugh.

"sure seemed like it." he rolls his eyes.

i turn my body to him.

"grayson?"

"yes?"

"want me to be 100% honest?"

"mhm."

"i still love you." i say, taking another hit of my cigarette.

"i know." i nod.

"sahar?"

"yes grayson?" i raise an eyebrow.

"i still love you."

"i know grayson," i cry, "i'm sorry i left you like that."

"oh yeah. i forgot, you broke up with me by leaving me a letter." he laughs coldly.

i'm crying again and i rest my head against his shoulder.

god i've missed him so much.

he stands up, lightly grabbing my hand and bringing me up with him.

"come here, baby." he croaks opening his arms.

i'm quick to wrap my arms around him and nuzzle my head into his chest.

"god i've missed you." he breathes. his voice was really unsteady, letting me know that he too, was crying.

"wanna know something?" i raise an eyebrow as i pull away from the hug.

"what?" he asks, quickly wiping his tears away.

"i still wear the ring you got me." i say holdinv my hand up.

"have you read it?"

"yeah," i croak, "grayson i shouldn't have left you. i was just so unhappy at the time. but since i left i was even more unhappy."

"jesus." he mumbles, "you caused me so much pain. i pretty much cried everyday because of you. and i cant believe i'm gonna do this."

"do what?" before i can even comprehend what's going on, he smashing his lips into mine.

"sahar? what the fuck?"

-

oooooof