i fall apart - grayson dolan

4

grayson

when i saw jacks range rover in the parking lot of the apartment, i knew something was wrong.

"sahar, baby. what are you doing?" i say, my heart dropping.

before she can walk towards me, her brother opens the car door, lightly grabbing her and pushing her in as he mumbles, "sahar, get in."

"bye gray, i love yo-" she is cut off by the door slamming shut.

my eyes are still looking at her window as jack speaks.

"look bro, she's been really unhappy lately. i dont really know what's been going on, but i hate to see her like this man. you'll find someone better, man." he sighs, going to pat my shoulder, i quickly pull away.

"fuck you." i seethe as he walks away to get into the drivers seat.

tears roll down my cheeks as i watch the car drive away. there's nothing i can do. she's gone.

i slowly walk into the apartment and start towards the bedroom, stopping when i see a note lying on the counter top.

i wipe some of the tears from my cheeks and silently read the note.

"fuck!" i yell angrily, knocking over the decorative basket that was on the coffee table.

"fuck fuck fuck!" i yell again, this time knocking over anything i can get my hands on.

i pull pictures off the wall, smashing then to the ground.

i was pissed at myself for being so stupid and careless.

i began to the bedroom and cry even harder.

i slam myself onto the bed and cry, putting my face into my hands.

something shiny catches my eye, the matching rings.

i began to search for hers, surely she wouldn't have taken it if she was genuinely done with me.

when i cant see it, i have a little bit of hope.

maybe she'll forgive me.

-

every single day for a month, i called and texted her.

me: sahar
me: i miss you
me: i cant do this anymore im sorry
me: please forgive me baby
me: i hope you'll remember me when i'm gone
me: goodbye baby

i sigh, slouching down in my uber as we were on our way to the local large bridge.

"uhh, right here is fine." i mumble to the driver.

"are you sure mate?" the driver raises a brow.

"yeah, i'm meeting a friend. thanks though." i sigh, handing him a 10 dollar bill.

"you have a good one man." he thanks me.

oh i will. trust me.

my eyes follow his car, as we were the only ones at the bridge and i really didn't want anyone to witness this.

i walk towards the side of the bridge and look down. i could barely see the water due to the fact that it was really foggy.

"grayson.." i hear a voice say.

"fuck." i mumble, "what are you doing here, ethan."