THE BAD GIRL'S BOY

Unlovable

MICHELLE

They say love is an essential part for human survival.
Then I must be a walking dead because all my life I have never had anybody love me.

Not a single person.

I'm starting to believe I'm unlovable. Like a wicked witch cursed me at birth that I would never find love.

Well in my case the witch is a man.

My father

You see 17 years ago I was born to a disturbed couple.
My father was a gambler . He made and lost his money in casinos.
My mother was a bar attender in a strip club, or so my father told me. I never really knew my mother. She left when I was only four years old.
Apparently, my father physically abused her so much that one day she decided the best thing was for her to flee.
She didn't love me enough to take me with her.
She left me with the monster who was my father and didn't care what would become of me.

After my mother left, my father directed his anger and frustration at me.

He would yell at me saying I was just a burden to him.
He would grab me angrily and throw me to the floor several times if I do something like go to a neighbors house because I was scared of being by myself each time he left me alone in the house.

When I was ten, he started to hit me frequently.

I would lie to my teachers that I fell from the stairs or had a bicycle accident whenever they asked what caused my injuries.
I was so scared that he would kill me if I told them the truth.

When I was twelve years old. He started to give me to his friends for money.

They would sexually assault me and pay him a lot of money for a night with me.

It was an extremely traumatizing experience.

I cried day and night.

I was a beautiful twelve year old.
I developed breasts very fast. I had long black hair and pretty brown eyes. I was tall and slim with tanned skin.

His friends lusted after me more as I grew and would pay so much money just to have me for the night.

My father gave me contraceptives to prevent any pregnancy because like he said, he couldn't afford to care for a worthless baby.

The abuse continued until I was fourteen. I had become mentally unstable. I was depressed and suicidal.

I hated men.

I wanted to hurt them like they hurt me. They were horny monsters that traumatized young girls.

I had major anger issues so I had no friends in school and acted out very often.

I had angry outbursts at my classmates and teachers frequently, I stole unnecessary items from stores and even started smoking.

My teachers were so worried and decided to invite my father for a meeting, but he never showed up.

Then they became suspicious.