Twisted {Jacob Black}

Alpha's Orders

I was beginning to learn that nothing gets easier; you just grin and bear it. The hole in my chest caused constant pain, I just learnt how to hide it. Or at least, I could hide it from everyone except Edward. Edward knew whenever even the slightest bit of sadness crossed my mind, and i would always be met with a sympathetic gaze and a hug.

He did attempt to take my mind off it all, though. For hours during the night we sat up on the rooftop of the Cullen house, and Edward would explain to me everything i needed to know about my new life. I learnt about Carlisle's history, The Volturi, the treaty between the Quileutes and the Cullens (although Sam had already told me that part), and every detail about my stone cold figure. Edward was changing my perspective, helping me see things as i should. The Quileutes - Sam specifically - taught me that vampires were soulless demons capable of only bad deeds, but Edward and his family were just as sweet natured as the rest of the humans. Edward didnt believe that about himself, because a huge part of himself could only see the demon in him, but not me. I had never had a friend like him, and someone capable of such caring actions could never be evil. I knew that.

But, when the night was over and our hours of peaceful talking had to end, Edward was in school along with the rest of his 'siblings'. I understood their reasons for going to school - to fit in - but it still sucked. I couldnt go, because i was still a missing person and i couldnt be seen, so i was alone all day whilst Carlisle was in the hospital. Esme was in the house sometimes, but i was mostly left to myself.

And so, i was left to try and entertain myself. I thought about going to find Embry, but the treatyline prevented me from doing that; Sam had made it clear he didnt want anything to do with me, which stung, but i would try to respect that.

So, i started reading. My time was consumed with the hundreds of history and mythical legends books that Carlisle had sitting in his office. I would also read his research, intrigued by every theory i discovered. I wanted to learn, and to understand as much as i possibly could about vampires, and about myself. 

But, theres only so much time a person can possibly spend reading, so i was left to find other passtimes; my self control. Sounds simple, but my ability to ignore my cravings needed work, and i remembered Esme's words. The more i hunted, the easier it would be, so i tried to go everyday. I would end up in the woods, practising my hunting and building up my skills as much as i could. It wasnt as entertaining without Edward there to laugh at me when i messed up, but he had taught me enough so that i could figure it out on my own. 

I was out in the woods, perfectly content with my hunt. My clothes werent even messy in the slightest, and as i stood up, wiping my mouth, a twig snapped behind me. I froze, staying completely still, just like a statue, until i heard that voice. The same voice i'd heard for as long as i could remember. The same voice that used to calm me when i cried. The very same voice that I hadnt heard for days; almost a week. 

"Emma..." His voice was a mere whisper, and i wouldve enjoyed his nervousness had i not been on the verge of a total breakdown. Suddenly i could hear nothing else around me, just the sound of his voice. Jacob. 

I spun slowly, turning around until my eyes landed on him. It was the first time i was laying eyes on him since my transformation, and i took my time. He was still Jacob, just enhanced. I could see him more clearly now. He was only wearing shorts, like he always did when he thought he might need to phase. That stung. He didnt trust me, thought i was dangerous. The rest of his body was bare, and i could see how each muscle was perfected as if it was carved out of stone; inhumanly perfect. His black hair was shorter, maybe, just a little bit, and I could see the details of the Quileute tattoo on his upper arm easily. Every swirl of ink was visible to my eyes, even though we were standing ten metres away from each other.