Let's Talk

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I didn't know how to respond to Jacob showing up. Not at all. My head was spinning so badly that I thought id throw up, but of course I couldn't do that. I still had many questions, and I was insistent on asking every last one of them. 

And so, as we stood a metre away from each other and Jacob shifted nervously whilst I stood still as a statue, I opened my mouth to speak. Finally, it didn't hurt to look at him properly. I knew he hadn't intended to leave, and didn't look like he was going to do it again, so I could relax. "You hate vampires." I whispered, pulling anxiously at my hair. "All my life you've hated them, just as much as Sam does. How are you planning to deal with the fact that I am one now?" This was one question I was scared for him to answer, for fear he'd break my heart again with his response. 

Jacob shifted his weight from one foot, to the other, and met my eyes. "If you were like the rest of them, then Id be dead by now, Em. But I'm not, and aside from looking a little different, you seem like you." He sighed. "I cant deny whats right in front of me." 

Oddly, I felt a surge of warmth in my chest at just those words, just like when i'd touched his arm down at the beach. I didn't remember much now, the human memories were fuzzy, but that feeling was as clear as day. I missed it, how I felt whenever he was close to me, even if I hated myself to even admit it. 

It took me a moment to form my reply, but when I did I met his eyes again, and bit my lip for a second at the sad look in his eyes. "I guess I'm trying not to get my hopes up, Jacob. This... What do you want to happen? Because... I'm conflicted, okay?" I sighed in frustration. "The imprint is still there, I know that because I still feel sick about the thought of being away from you. But, still, we're still natural enemies, and another part of me wants to rip out your throat. We... we have to be really careful." 

Jacob was nodding the entire time I was speaking, and it made me a little calmer to know he was listening to me properly. "I know that, Em, I do, believe me. But... I'm not gonna be able to leave today knowing youre still mad."

"I'm not mad." I'd spoken the words before he'd even finished his sentence, and my eyes drifted to the floor again. "I'm... relieved. I mean, spending the past week thinking you didn't care was destroying me, because it didn't make any sense, and now I know. So... I'm not mad, I have nothing to be mad about." 

And there it was. That little quirky smile appeared on his face, and I was ruined. There was no way I could walk away now. I needed Jacob in my life any way that I could. He seemed to be thinking the same thing. 

"Just... We can do this, Emma. Okay?" There was a little bit of that childish hope in his eyes, and I almost didn't flinch back when he reached to grab my hand; but I did. 

I didn't just flinch, I ran. I was standing behind a tree, at least ten metres away in just a split second, before Jacob even had time to react. I knew I was holding my breath, back pressed up against the tree and eyes closed, my hands curled into tight fists at my sides. 

No, no, no. Don't hurt him. You have to stay calm. Calm, calm, calm. Ignore it, Emma, ignore it. 

I was so consumed in my thoughts of not killing Jacob, that I hadn't heard him walk over. Until, of course, the wind blew his scent in my direction, and I had to work a hell of a lot harder. 

"Emma, I didn't mean to..." My eyes snapped open as soon as I heard his voice, and I looked to see him standing a few metres away, hands raised. 

"Its okay.. no no no you have to stay away from me right now, Jake. I need.. I need you to stay away. Don't move." I sounded a little strangled, I could hear it in my own voice, because I wasn't exactly breathing. 

Jacob actually did what I told him to, though, but everytime a breeze blew in my direction I was given another waft of his scent, the scent that was screaming at me to rip out his throat as fast as I could. The killer side of me. 

And suddenly we weren't alone. I didn't hear anything first, but I caught the scent, the familiar scent i'd gotten used to for the past week. Relief surged through me; Edward. 

"Emma." I heard his voice only seconds later, and I watched Jacob spin around to look behind him, where Edward came into view. He didn't hesitate, and was striding over to me in seconds, straight around Jacob. I didn't speak. I couldn't speak. I could just watch. 

"Hey man, what are you-" Jake sounded a little pissed off actually, and I was surprised to see his protective side appearing even now. He started to put a hand on Edward's shoulder to stop him getting to me. 

Edward's voice came out low and icy, and even I would've flinched a little. "Just let me help her, hm?" and then he was right in front of me, and I had no choice but to look straight at him. I instantly knew what he was doing. By standing like that he was blocking the scent a little, and I let out a breath, closing my eyes for a second. "What did you think you were doing, Emma? This was stupid." 

I bit my lip. "I know, okay! But.. I have to.. Fuck, Edward, I've already told you how I feel about him, so you know exactly why I'm doing this. Just help, okay?" I snapped a little, but Edward of course knew everything that was going through my mind. 

"Hold your breath until you have to talk. Focus on breathing all the time, itll distract you from the scent. Don't touch him, not yet at least, and stay a couple metres apart." He spoke quickly, and part of me could tell he was still unhappy about this whole thing. "You should've waited at least five years to do this." Edward muttered, and as agitated as I was, I swatted his arm. 

I'd almost forgotten Jacob was there until then, when the wind blew his scent right back in my direction and I snapped back into focus. Jake looked more than a little confused, but there was something else mixed in there too, and it was directed at Edward; jealousy. What?

I decided to ignore it; I was way too busy to deal with that right now. I bit my lip and looked to Edward, silently asking him to let us be. 

"You're totally sure?" Edward asked aloud, not looking at all convinced that I wasn't going to accidentally rip Jake to shreds as soon as he left - not that he wouldn't enjoy that. I nodded mutely, and whilst he did shoot a wary glance at the frustrated werewolf standing a few metres away from us, he was gone in a blur, and his scent disappeared from my nose. 

My gaze landed on Jacob again and I bit my lip, waiting for him to express his confusion; and he did. 

"What the hell just happened?" Jake asked, tilting his head at me like he had done before. 

I laughed nervously, despite how much I was literally clinging to the tree with one hand to hold me to the spot. "Um... that was Edward. He's been helping me through this." 

Jake's eye roll, however, I could've predicted. "Yeah, I'm sure he has." He muttered, and I had to fight a growl. 

"Hey! You don't get to do the whole 'jealous' thing, not after what you put me through. Got it?"

He nodded quickly, and my favourite shy smile appeared; the same one i'd seen with human eyes since I was just a child. "Right. Of course. Sorry; again." There was a moment of silence in which I chose to just study his face before he spoke again. "So, um, we have a lot to talk about. Hm? But, I want you to know that I mean this, Em. I can't live without you, so we're gonna make it work. Okay?"

That did cause me to smile a little, despite everything over the past month or so. I found myself nodding at everything he was saying; we could do this. I needed Jake more than I had ever needed him before, so we had to make this work. 


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