IT ⇢ ONESHOTS

new years eve - [stanlon]

[soft!stanlon]

IN WHICH STAN (NEARLY) SPENDS NEW YEARS EVE ALONE

⇢

after neibolt, something changed in stanley uris. something irreversible.

when he had first noticed it, he had made a solid attempt to hide it. it came in waves, deeply rooted waves of bitter numbness that he really couldn't seem to claw his way out of. the first time he had noticed it, richie tozier, of all people, had pointed it out to him. the seven of them had been spending the night over at bill's house, camped out in the living room watching horror movies on the television for most of the evening.

stan had been tucked into a thick blanket, watching the TV only halfheartedly as his gaze wandered towards the window. rain danced against the exterior of the windowsill, and stan watched the rain come down, completely entranced by it. richie had given him a sharp prod to the ribs, and before stan could turn around and snap at him for disturbing him, richie leaned into stan's shoulder and whispered, almost too seriously to have come from richie:

"you alright?"

that had been the first time that stanley realized he wasn't. he spent the next few years becoming almost reclusive, staying in when he friends went out and keeping a bit distant even when he did decide to join them. so when stan had suggested, that final year of high school, that the seven of them camp out in his backyard and watch the fireworks on new years, his friends were taken a bit aback.

"are you sure, stan?"eddie has questioned as the group of them sat huddled into a medium sized table in the school library, studying the boy as he fanned his fingers over the pages of the book he was holding, turning his gaze up at eddie. "we wouldn't want to be an inconvenience is all" eddie had mumbled in what almost seemed to be embarrassment, and stan didn't even need to look around at the rest of them to know that they were all thinking the same thing. regardless, stan pushed a bright smile onto his face as he met eddie's gaze.

"an inconvenience? no, never. i think..." stan began, noticing that eddie was watching him cautiously as he spoke. stan's gaze returned to his spot in the novel he was reading, hardly focusing on the words but rather trying to give himself something to do.

"i think it'll be nice."

when new years had come around, however, stanley found that nobody showed.

he wasn't sure if it was because beverly and bill had gone out of town for the holidays, and that had led the others to shy away, or if they really hadn't planned on coming over anyways. but stan had put a little too much effort into the escapade to let his friends stop him from going outside, even if he could already feel the thick presence of those waves creeping over him.

so there he sat.

 in his backyard, dressed in a pair of thick snow pants and a navy blue jacket, stan sat nestled in the snow, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders as he stared up at the sky through the opening beneath his jacket hood. the stars seemed brighter that night, for whatever reason, and the moon left a thin layer of reflected light on the crunchy snow surrounding the boy. as he exhaled, he watched his breath drift up into the air and dissipate.

as he sat in silence, stan felt the urge to slam his palms into the thick, icy top layer of snow around him, irritation swarming inside of his stomach. he had promised that he wouldn't get mad at the situation he was in, but it seemed like he really couldn't help it. if he had tried more, maybe they wouldn't have shied away so quickly from him? maybe he wouldn't be sitting out in the snow with 5 minutes until the new year with tears brimming in his eyes. just as stan was preparing to push himself back into a stand and escape into the lonely retreat that was his house, he heard the soft crunch of footsteps in the snow behind him.