IT ⇢ ONESHOTS

even when you're scared - [reddie]

[angst!reddie]

mild tw for panic and explicit panic attack descriptions!

IF RICHIE WAS TAKING ON EDDIE'S FEAR, THEN EDDIE WOULD TAKE ON RICHIE'S STRENGTH.

⇢

richie had never been one to truly panic. he'd been frightened before, and he'd been worried and antsy but he'd never, as long as he could remember, been someone who panicked.

he used to like to claim that eddie did all the panicking for him, for the whole group of them, he'd said. this was usually accompanied with a poke at eddie's sensitive skin, a delicate jab beneath his ribcage, something that was just enough to get him snapping at richie, dragging the attention away from him.

but richie tozier wasn't a scaredy cat. not before neibolt.

richie found that after, however, he could do almost nothing but panic half of the time. nowhere was safe from the thick, chilling sense of nervousness that seemed to overtake the boy. the dark, the bathroom, open fields or school classrooms. not even home. through raw fingertips that had been picked away at and gentle, lilac circles beneath his eyes, richie understood what it felt like to be eddie, for once. in the most solemn way, he appreciated the boy a little bit more, which he hadn't thought possible.

richie seemed to drag his feet a little bit more often, speak up a little bit less, and his crude remarks and jokes, though still just as inappropriate and enthusiastic as ever, held larger lengths of time between them, like it took a whole lot of his energy just to make his friends turn beet red from embarrassment anymore.

eddie was delicate, but not weak. he'd always been panicked person, for as long as he remembered. but not weak.

yet, seeing these changes in his best friend made him feel just that; weak. eddie felt like he was watching the boy in front of him crumple like a poorly built house of cards. his own anxieties seemed feeble compared to the way richie seemed to tap his fingers against desks and tables like he couldn't get out of any location fast enough, or the way the boy seemed to pull at his hair, which had begun to twist into wild curls, like the action might give him some relief. richie was becoming just as panicked as eddie had always been.

so eddie decided one morning, that if richie was taking on his fear, eddie would take on richie's bravery.

eddie had been staying over at richie's house for the night the first time he really got to put his bravery to the test.

he'd been tucked neatly into richie's comforter, eyes shut easily as he breathed deeply into the boy's pillow, sleeping as soundly as he had for a good long while. he likely would have keep sleeping all the way through the night, too, if he hadn't been awoken to the sound of something hitting the floor in the darkness of the house.

his eyes had flung open quickly as though he hadn't been sleeping at all, and when he reached out to grab ahold of richie and give the boy a good, rousing shake, it was then that he noticed how empty the spot next to him on the bed was. eddie took no time pulling himself up into a sit, and as he did so, he nearly jumped out of his skin at the sight of richie, just the top of his head visible as he remained facing away from eddie, sitting at the end of the bed. reaching over to the tiny lamp that sat on the nightstand by richie's bed, eddie flipped the switch on as he peered over at richie.

"if you're trying to freak me out, you've done it. now can y—" eddie began, but he was cut short.

as richie sat at the end of the bed, he seemed to be trembling, his entire body encased in subtle shakes like the entire house was vibrating and he was the only one experiencing it.