yøung førever ~ (sequel to RyroRoss⚡️ is typing/ryden)✔️

40

(a/n !WARNING! Talk of self harm/suicidal thoughts)

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Ryan had his arms around me and was snuggled into my side.

Clay has been asleep for hours, and for the life of us we couldn't just go to bed yet.

We where so comfortable on the couch. Sure my leg had fallen asleep awhile ago but I didn't care.

"Ry?" I asked.

"Mhm Bren?" Ryan asked into my chest.

"Why did you cut?" I asked and I felt Ryan flinch. "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want." I said and Ryan shook his head.

"No no, you deserve to know." Ryan took a deep breath. "I'm not even quite sure. Before I knew you I had such a hard time. I always felt as if I wasn't good enough. I loved my mom, she loved me. It wasn't that, it was just I didn't think I was good enough. And so one day I found some razors and I tried them out. And when I did it felt right. I thought I deserved the pain. And now of corse I don't think that, and no one should. But one day I tried to kill myself, I was going to slit my wrists and sit in the bathtub. But you texted me saying: 'I love you'. And you saved me Bren. Thank you!" Ryan hugged my side and I felt tears roll down my cheeks as I picked Ryan up from my side and placed him on top of me and pulled him into a kiss. I kissed him softly trying not to deepen it.

"I love you, I love you so so so so much baby. Please don't ever do that again." I hugged Ryan and he nodded.

"Bren?"

"Yes?" I asked.

"One day could you take me to get tattoos, tattoos on my wrists to cover up the scars?" Ryan asked and I hugged him tighter.

"Yes Of corse baby of corse." I said.

"Bren."

"Mhm?" Ryan stuck out his pinky.

"I promise I won't if you do as well." I stuck out my pinky and linked it with his. "I promise." Ryan said.

"I promise."

~~~~
A/N
Sorry for this depressing chapter
I'm gonna go try and play a game with my family bc I hear them playing a game so;)
I drew a p!atd thing on the beach today so that was fun
Sooo yee

~enjoy killjoys~