I don't need perfect

The night of the party

 The music was blasting , bodies against bodies. There were a group of girls in the corner taking selfies , doing all type of different poses , laughing having the time of their life . Red cups everywhere , this whole place reeks of alcohol , drugs and a bunch of hormonale and sweaty teenagers.

Only one question came to mind as I looked at the scene around me , is this how i'm supposed to act ? since it a party shouldn't I be having the time of my life . I was force to come here because of my best friend sterline . Of course she left , as soon as she walked in she was dragged by her other two friends , but who could blame her , if i was her i would of left too. when your popular you come to a party to have fun . Nobody wants to stay in the corner with their way too shy friend . I never felt so out of place , watching the girls grinding , twerking against the boys , or their friends , made me cringe mentally . I pulled on the sleeve of my hoodie and kept looking at my new jordan's , while noticing that all the other girl had on skin tight short dresses , (other clothing) . The music keeps getting louder and louder , up to the point where my head started to spin . I need to get out , get some fresh air , need to go home couldn't take it no more. While walking out , a bunch of boys were jumping into the pool .

To be honest , I don't know why I chose to come here . Yeah, sterline asked me but that just an excuse I will keep on giving because at the end of the day it was my decision. But deep down I knew why , I wanted to try to be normal for once, I wanted to be able to feel like the other teenage girls that are my age . Being raise in a haitian family you already have enough rules to follow , but being raise in a haitian and family and being christian add more to the rules. I was different from my friends , the things they were comfortable with was different for me . Tonight i wanted to do something and live a little. For once be daring and wild and have a good time . Every time my friends go to a party they had the most funniest stories to tell. Me, I lived of their stories and experiences, never really had my own. For me there was rules , such as a certain time to go home and my religious rule that no family member dare to break . But nobody want to be plain old boring . Have you ever have the feeling like every one of your friends is moving on and your just stuck in place ? well that is what it is like being in my shoes.

Just keep going, one foot in front of the other . My head feels so heavy , the music keeps getting louder and louder . At this point It feel as if someone is banging my head against the wall . One foot in front of the other , little by little and I'll be home . But my plan was ruined when some Stupid idiot bump into me and knocked me down . I look up to see no one other than Jay . You guys might be wondering who the hell is jay ? well jay is this boy I had a little tiny crush on since freshman year and right now i'm a sophomore . Since the first day of school I thought he was cute , But as the school year went on we had like a few conversation here and there which showed me that jay was not only cute but smart and funny . At the beginning of the year I thought that he might of like me , but as the year go on I knew I was just fooling myself. The crush Die out by december . He was everything i'm not, he was outgoing , he made his opinion heard even though it was stupid, and always make people smile. He just had that vibe around him that make people want to be next to him. He wasn't perfect but he was in my eyes i loved his flaws . But we were opposite , he loved football, I love books , He probably is friends with the whole school while i'm super uncomfortable with big crowds . The chances of him liking me was so low, so I did what I've always do when I had a crush and know it not going to happen . I kill it and tell myself to worry about school like my parent and every adult in my house tells me everyday.

" I'm sorry Dina , are you okay ? " he ask. While i'm still starstruck that he even remembered my name. Like we haven't talk since freshman year .

" Yeah , i'm fine , don't worry bout it ." i said in my shy voice , I have a voice for everyone that talks to me . When I talk to my aunt and mom i'm an innocent child , my voice sounds like a baby . When I am talking to my friends i'm loud as hell , the whole city can hear me . Then there Jay , I give my let try to sound cool and normal voice.

" Are you sure your okay ? you don't look to good , you weren't drinking ?" He ask. He genuinely look concerned .

" No i wasn't drinking . umm.. It just my head hurts a little that why i came out here to get some fresh air hoping it would get better " Even though my mouth was moving i was confused on why he looked so concerned , it's not like we're friends .

" In that case let me take you home , i was just about to leave anyways " he said.

Of course me being me I start panicking , us alone , not good idea , but shit my head is killing me, what choice do i have .

" Actually that would be great I don't leave to far from here, and you don't really look like a kidnapper or serial killer , so i'mma take you up on that affor " i said , while forcing a smile . He chuckle and guide me toward his car .

The car ride was a little silence , i wanted to say something anything . But don't want to sound stupid , for the first time my brain decide to shut down .

" Umm , I don't mean to sound rude , but dina what were you doing at that party anyway? , no offence it just didn't seem like your type of thing ." he finally ask. Thank god , It was getting quite weird with both of us being quiet .

" Oh, well my best friend was going and i thought why the hell not . But , how would you know if it was my type of scene or not ? " i ask taking a little offence to what he had said .

" No ... umm well , it just that your the quiet nice girl , it just weird to see you at that party where people are twerking and doing all that . I just never thought.. You know " he said trying to defend himself . I didn't want to show it but something about what he said piss me off. The thing is people assume things about me , i'm the nice girl , but none of them really got to know me like that to actually know what i really like.He was right , it wasn't my type of thing , but i actually like dancing , whining but I don't do it on boy or to get their attention , I like to dance with my friends for fun.

" To be honest you don't really know me outside of school so your wouldn't know what i would like or not " that came out kinda bitchy but i don't care.

" Do you wanna play 20 questions ?" he ask .

" yeah , sure you go first ." a smile slowly creeped up on my face ,