Enough {h.s.}

24

My hand was placed on the frame of the elevator door. There was pause in time from when the door opened and closed. Those few seconds were the longest seconds I had ever felt. Should I turn around? Ignore him? He knew his boundaries, he didn't touch me. I looked over my left shoulder, my cheeks flushed and hot. I didn't turn all the way, just enough to let him know I'm listening. I was listening. I wanted to hear what he had to say. If he had anything to say.

"Alex," My name left his lips in a whisper. A pained whisper. I turned around and looked into his eyes. For the first time in five years he was within arms reach and I didn't know what to say. I just stared at him and he stared back, no one moved. And even though all night my head had been spinning, this moment, everything seemed to calm. I felt ok.

"Alex, I–"

"So, you're famous now?" He looked at me like that's not what he was expecting me to say.

"How– uh, how have you been?" He shifted his weight from one leg to the other looked up at me.

I nodded and smiled. "I'm good, great!"

"So Evan's your....?"

"Boyfriend." He nodded and took a small step forward.

"I thought maybe he was you're husband or something." His voice trailed off at the end and I felt our conversation going into an awkward silence. But as soon as he finished his sentence the elevator dinged. I took a step away and an elderly lady walked out. "Oh, hello," she smiled and walked past us down the hall. I realized my arm was touching his and took another step away.

"I should– uh, head up." I walked onto the elevator and pressed the top floor button. "It's been a long day." He nodded and the door began to close but before it could he stuck his arm in. The door opened and I watched, losing my breath once again. "Can I?" I nodded quickly and took a step over allowing him to join me.

"What floor?" I asked reaching over to the numbers.

"The same one." I nodded and stepped back. There we were. Standing side by side in an elevator not knowing what to say. "You look amazing, Alex."

"Thank you." I smiled a little bigger than I wanted and I pushed a few curls out of my face. "You too."

"Thank you." He straightened his tie and cleared his throat.

We continued going up, floor after floor. I was convinced this was the slowest elevator ever made. And Harry and I stood there in silence as we passed each floor.

"Alex?" He finally spoke up and I turned my head. "I'm sorry." I just stared at him and let the words sink in. "For everything."

"I know," I gave a small smile and looked back at the elevator door.

"I think about you a lot. I miss you." He sighed and turned to look at me but I kept my eyes on the door. "Alex, you don't understand–"

"Harry." I cut him off and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. "I don't think you understand." I turned and looked at him. "I haven't gotten in touch with you for a reason. I knew where I could find you. I know your mom. I see your face everywhere. I could go to your concerts. If I wanted to see you I would have because I could have. But I didn't..." I never broke eye contact but I couldn't go on. I paused and stared at him.

The elevator dinged and I had more to say but I didn't want to look at him any longer. So I turned away and began my way down the hall. "Wait, Alex, please." He followed closely behind and I fiddled with the keys until I opened the door to my room. The inside was beautiful. Your basic hotel suite.

I turned around and stopped him in his tracks. "No." I tried to slam the door shut but he was still stronger than me. And I didn't feel like fighting it so huffed and turned around, throwing the keys on the small table beside the sofa.