Chapter 5 ~ Ellen

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I love you with my all.
Your fingers, voice, eyes, I love with my entire body.

I don't need my eyes anymore.
I don't even need my legs.

I can just see with your eyes.
I can just run with your legs.

So please, give it to me.
All of you, to me.

The moment that "spell" was used, the entire forest was shrouded in darkness.
A powerful wind blew, and birds took off in surprise. Sleeping beasts woke up with a start, looking around cautiously in all directions. Because they didn't know where the air of unrest was coming from. Among   them,   only   one,   a   child,   with   eyes   like   glass,   faced   the correct direction. The wise beast child knew. That this forest was under someone's control. An entity in a realm far above even the brown bear. That it observed this great forest, and intervened. And that they beasts were little more than toys in that entity's palm.
The   child   saw   the   red   roofed   house   -   the   house   where   the   witch lived. That was the place from which this unrest came.
Now,   some   sort   of   change   was   occurring   with   the   master   of   the forest. A great, unprecedented change. It knew not what it was. Perhaps this had something to do with the life of the master. In fact, for that reason, there was no grief. Even if the master died, they beasts would simply go on living in the forest. The beast child's mother saw her unlucky child and sharply howled.
That was when it happened.
A lightning-like flash of light spread through the entire forest. Only   for   a   moment.   Only   for   a   moment   did   the   white   light   take vision   from   the   beasts,   then   promptly   was   gone.   And   with   it   also left the black fog of unease. The   forest   regained   its   afternoon   brightness   as   if   nothing   had happened. The birds and beasts were relieved, and began to move. ...But the beast child did not. A   calm   wind   blew   through   the   forest.   It   was   somehow   different from that which had always blown; it seemed to carry a sorrowful tone.
The beast child felt it with its eyes and ears, its entire body. But it was meaningless, as it had no way to express the emotion.
Again, its mother howled. The child followed its mother, vanishing into the trees.
Had the beast child the means to express itself, perhaps this is what it would have said. Now, one tragedy has ended - and another begun.

The white light filled my head. As the light gradually faded... ...I slowly opened my eyes.
I heard the wind rustling the leaves of the trees. It was very calming. And I didn't think so because this was a house deep in the forest. There was no longer a noisy ringing deep in my ears. There was no longer a headache assaulting my temples. It was completely silent. I heard only the breathing and pulse of my body. I could see. That alone told me it was not my body. I was still sitting in the chair, fallen over the bed. I moved my eyes around to look at my body. There were no bandages on my hands. I could delicately move even my fingertips. My legs were both there. Touching the ground. There were not bandages around my feet, but leather shoes. I slowly got myself up, and a golden braid swayed at my shoulders.
...Unmistakably, it was Viola's body. The spell had worked.
I could tell my cheeks were heating up. I held them with both hands and yelled. "Aah...! Wow...! Thank you! Thank you, Viola! Look, look at me! I'm in your body!" I looked at the girl lying down. Lying on the bed, I - Viola, rather, was still unconscious. Bandages   were   wrapped   around   both   eyes.   The   pale   lips   opened slightly,   taking   shallow   breaths.   The   long   purple   hair   lay   strewn across the bed. One of the little hands reached toward me. The hand I'd been holding hers with a moment ago. I could still feel the sensation in my hand.
Reacting   to   my   voice,   Viola's   eyebrows   moved   slightly.   Finally regaining consciousness, a moan came out of her mouth. "Ugh... ahh..." "Viola!" Viola turned her head toward the source of my voice. Then her face cruelly warped itself into an attempt at a smile. Suddenly,   she   held   her   forehead   like   she'd   been   punched,   and began to scream.
"Aaaaah! - G-GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!" "Hey, hey, Viola! Look! Look, it's me! I'm in your body, Viola! Wow, this is great. It feels so light being in a body that doesn't hurt." I stood up from the chair and spun around, making the skirt flutter. "Aaagh... hah... hh..."
"Oh, sorry. You can't see, can you?" I softly touched Viola's forehead. My hand was rudely pushed away. She couldn't properly respond to the pain of the body. She pushed the   hand   away   so   weakly,   it   was   like   being   brushed   by  an   angel's feather.
"...Ah!" As   if   only   just   realizing,   I   put   a   hand   to   my   mouth   and   gasped.   I whispered in concern. "...Viola, does it hurt? Ohh, I bet it does. Sorry, just wait, okay? I'll get you some medicine to stop the pain." "...P-plea... se...", Viola said as if about to cry, catching her breath. Looking   at   her,   I   went   to   the   cupboard.   I   opened   the   drawer   and quickly   found   the   medicine.   But   I   purposefully   took   my   time rummaging around.
Viola   gripped   the   sheets,   desperately   trying   to   endure   the   pain. Ahh, it was so comical, so darling. Soon, I heard a hasty rustling of clothes. "E-Ellen, m... m-my legs..." "Hm? What's that?" "Ah..." When I pretended not to hear, Viola swallowed and asked nothing more. What happened to my legs? Boy. Did she only just notice they were gone? How stupid was she?
After taking enough of my sweet time, I grabbed the medicine and
returned to the bedside table. I filled the cup with water from a pitcher. The   sound   of   pouring   water   seemed   to   alleviate   just   a   fraction   of Viola's tension. Then   I   dropped   a   grain   of   the   candy-like   medicine   in   the   cup.   It dissolved in an instant. The water remained the same clear color. But this medicine wouldn't stop the pain.
"Here you go, Viola. You'll feel better if you drink this." I handed her the cup, gently putting her hands around it. Viola thanked me, and drank the medicine all at once. I  heard  her   throat  gulp. Just  a  moment  later,   the  cup  danced  into the air. The moment the contents spilled out onto the floor -
"Ahahahahahahhahhah!! You drank it! You drank it! AHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" I yelled, as if unable to hold in my laughter. Viola stuck our her tongue and held her throat with both hands. She trembled and panted in a hoarse voice. She   didn't   seem   to   understand   what   happened.   Blood   spilled   out from the gaps in the bandages around her eyes. After laughing a while, I wiped away the blood and spoke. "...Ahahah. You see, that was a throat-burning medicine."
Viola faced me with her whole body. Why?, she seemed to ask. So I answered.
"...Don't you see? I don't want to hear my own screams." "... ..." Viola still desperately held her throat. She   had   stopped   wanting   to   scream   and   gotten   quiet,   but   her breathing was rough. Like a wild animal's.
I looked at Viola somewhat coldly. "Does   it   hurt?   ...Hey,   does   it   hurt?   All   over,   right?   That's   how   my body's always felt. Didn't you know?" "... ... ... ..." "Oh, but I guess I don't know the pain in your throat now. Ah, but that's   right.   Since   your   throat   hurts   so   much,   you   can   forget   the pain of the sickness, can't you? Just for a little while, but it will stop that pain... heh. Hahahaha." I laughed like I'd just thought of a funny joke.
She faintly trembled. Soon, she started to struggle. I figure that was all she could do to distract from the pain. Because of her struggling, blood began to pour from the stumps of her   legs.   Oh,   my.   The   bed   was   stained   with   a   sea   of   blood   in   no time. Her body, only an upper half, tumbled out of bed onto the floor. I backed away at once. This clean skirt being stained with blood would be no good, no good at all. The thing at my feet gripped the floor with both hands, seemingly desperate to retain consciousness. A   miserable   whistling   breath   repeated.   She   didn't   even   seem   to
know where I was. "What   a   strange   creature,"   I   thought   of   the   thing   that   had   once been my body.
Her nose bled, perhaps hit when she fell to the floor. Viola frantically tried to push some words out of her ruined throat. Hearing   her   repeat   the   same   thing   over   and   over,   I   cautiously listened. "Gi... i... ... ba..." ...Give it back. Perhaps that was what she was saying. When I heard it, my eyebrows raised. I felt like I'd long been awaiting those words. Like I'd wanted to hear them for so long.
Becoming ill-tempered, I asked. "...Give it back? Weren't you going to lend it to me for a day?" Viola's body hardened at once, and she shook her head. Firmly so. Like she was apologizing from the bottom of her heart. I put my hands on my hips. Viola crawled toward my feet. Tilting my head only slightly, furrowing my brows, I looked down at her. Or perhaps looking down on her was more accurate.
"No   way.   I   promised   it'd   just   be   a   day.   ...Could   it   be   you   were lying?" I knew she hadn't lied. But I made sure to ask. Viola   clenched   her   teeth,   and   I   heard   them   grind.   Drool   came
between   the   gaps,   mixing   with   the   bloody   nose.   Her   bloody   tears stained the bandages red. "Ha." A laugh came out at that idiotic face.
I  held  my   skirt  and squatted  down.  With  a  gentle   hand,   I  brushed aside the hair over her ear. I put my lips close. And   to   make   my   sorrow   at   being   betrayed   clear,   I   slowly   and carefully spoke in a whisper. "...You're awful, Viola. If that's how it'll be, then I won't give it back. ...I'll borrow this body forever." Viola's  body  stiffened.   The  air   stilled,  and  I  could   tell  the  sense   of crisis that her trembling body said she felt.
But now? ...It was too late.
I   laughed.   Laughter   welled   up   in   me.   It   couldn't   be   stopped.   Ahh, that's no good. Viola wouldn't laugh like this. I held my cheeks and stood up. "If it was that important to you, you shouldn't have given it up so easily!! AHAHA HAHA HA HA HA, HAHA, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA,   HEEEEEHEE,   HEE   HEE   HEE   HEE,   AHAHAAA,   HEEHEE, HAHAHAHAAA!"
Viola raised a scream she couldn't voice and reached a hand for me. I   easily   leapt   out   of   the   way;   the   painless   body   was   as   light   as   a feather. Her hand forcefully bumped into the chair, knocking it over.
In so doing, the bandages over her eyes fell away. The black, gouged eyes opened wide.
Those eyes. Their total blackness. They were a symbol of despair.
If a person who knew nothing saw those eyes, they might be unable to   move   from   terror.   They   might   imagine   their   soul   being   sucked into those open black voids. But I felt no such thing within me. They were just eyesockets. I fled the room, laughing.
I ran like the wind down the hallway. The rose vases I passed were dropping red petals. I ran down the wooden stairs. There was no sound in the quiet house but my pleasant footsteps and lively breaths. I ran. I could run. Run on my own legs. This body was no illusion. My legs stepped on the floor. My hands pushed   open   the   doors.   My   shoulders   cut   through   the   wind.   My hair swayed. My eyes took in the light. It was all real, and all mine. I   passed   through   the   kitchen,   the   dining   room,   all   the   familiar rooms, and reached the entryway in no time. I softly put my hand to the front door. With a slight pause, I pushed it wide open.
...In a moment. The wind blew, lifting up my hair and skirt.
The smell of grass pierced into the back of my nose. The red rose garden came into my eyes. My children, which I had before only gazed at from inside.
As if drawn by the powerful colors, I took one step outside. Perhaps I should have hesitated to take that step. The moment my foot stepped onto the ground, I remembered. I   remembered   my   body,   for   as   soon   as   I   went   outside   the   house, the magic would fade, and it would crumble.
But I wonder...
I stood with both feet on the ground. There was no impact like being punched in the head. No heat like my   skin   was   melting.   The   body   of   this   human   named   Viola   was separate from the house, existed apart from it. The backs of my eyes warmed. Tears which accompanied no pain fell down my cheeks. The roses sparkled in the light of the sun, and I felt they applauded me. Come to think of it, when I came to the house, I heard applause as well. Then, it was welcoming applause. Celebrating that I had become a witch. And now, it was farewell. My   eyelids   closed,   and   I   saw   memories   that   remained   with   this body.
I knew everything. How I had love in my future, in both directions. What   lied   ahead   for   this   body.   I   knew   it   in   an   instant.   And   it   was
mine. ...This beloved body.
I held my shoulders as if hugging myself. I wanted to kiss myself. I did so on my left shoulder. I heard birds taking off and looked up. I squinted at the strong sunlight. I didn't know what the birds were saying anymore. I laughed, and ran as if chasing the birds in flight. A happy wind blew at my back. Running, running. I left the garden surrounded by roses.
...I could see my diary. I had no magic left. I should have just been a normal human now. But I could see my room clearly. My   diary   was   upon   on   the   desk.   The   feather   pen   smoothly   wrote words on its own. The final entry in my diary. My final words.

I didn't X her.
Because she saved me from my sickness.
So I made her my "friend."
In the end, she saved me. She switched bodies with me.
Because she was so kind. Because she wouldn't betray me.
Poor her. Poor her.
She saved me. Saved me from my sickness.
I'm sorry, okay? Thank you, Viola.
I'll live your share. I'll give your share of love to your father.
So please, forgive me.

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