14. Bye

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Dear -----,
 
Its New Year's eve and my old 'brother' and 'sitter' is back to spend the holiday with their families. They seem so happy and I am in my room reminiscing all the things they had done to me. Everyone has moved on so easily and the one who was most hurt is still stuck in this rut of a vault within her mind.
 
The memories of me being bullied flood my mind as a tear escaped my eye.  The razor I hid in my backpack was in my hand as I stared at it contemplating what I should do. I do not want to die but somehow life has become harder and less desirable.
 
I am finally calling it quits but before I go I have some farewell to stand upon. First, my real parents, you should have never left me, you sold me into this pawn and started it all. Grandma , I hated you so much but I forgive you.
 
My babysitter, neighbour and old guy, y'all showed me the true monster in this world are not under our beds but they are walking among us. Thank you for your valuable lessons, I do not forgive any of you nor do I think I ever will, but I hope you rot in hell.
 
To my fellow high school colleague's, you all added more dirt to a withering and dry plant. I forgive all of you too, but next time when you're about to judge someone, remember me.
 
Mom, you should have accepted me whether society did or not. I gave up my love for you and the least you could have done was pretend I was okay after that. You never smiled at me the way you did and I know you sell drugs to minors and other people. You doing what society considers as wrong yet you couldn't accept me. You thought me that hypocrites are everywhere.
 
Miss Carter, I'm sorry for being so difficult.
 
To all of you, I'm sorry I was not what you expected, now I will do at least one thing right. I will die, so bye…
 
 

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