I wanted to try

STARTINGWORDS

So I have started again and I am so excited. This is the first time I write in english so I am really sorry about the language and mistakes that I make but I'd like to have some feedback about it so please feel free to give feedback, please both, positive and negative. That's it about my part, now we can go to the story part. And these songs do not have anything to do with the chapter but I just put here some nice song. 

So as known, I have almost nothing anymore to do with this although I might be mentioned a couple times by my sister but you will understand as it goes that far. But we are not there yet. So now I would like to share some things about my sister and her life and about my life and about our family and everything I manage to remember this time. 

But if I forget something, my sister will not get pissed on me as far as I remember to tell you guys that she is really pretty, like I really mean this while saying that she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and that is big. 

Okay now seriously she would not want me to say that because she is really bad at taking compliments to herself and as you can guess she does not see herself as beautiful as I do. She has those insecurities mostly because of our biological father. 

He did not appreciate my mother or me and my siblings. Only one he cared about was himself. He told my sister many times that she was not pretty enough or that she was not good for anything and that she could not do anything but that certainly was not the truth and if someone knows that, it is me. 

As it came into my way, I will tell you some more about that. We did have some hard times with our family. So I had this bigger sister who I was already telling you about, she was one and half years older than me and her name is Anna. She was oldest kid of our family. I was second oldest so that was pretty cool. 

We had two little brothers who were twins, Leo and Theo. Yeah our mother thought it was genius to give the boys matching names but I always had a different opinion on that but I never told our mother that because I did not want to make her sad. The twins are four years younger than me. 

Then we had one last family member and her name is Destiny and she is two years younger than the twins. It is hard to keep up with such thing as five kids and their ages, right? Well at least it was for me but I can try to count their ages. But just a little bit later, I am trying to tell you about our family. 

So we had this amazing mother and we all just loved her and she took always care of us all and I am glad that she did because our father would not have done that.

Our father was a pain in the ass if I may say. He always wanted to do everything in his way so it was pretty hard for all of us to handle. Mostly he wanted something to drink and then our mother had to go to the store or cheat on this one by giving him water. 

But as our father found out about this cheat, it was my day to leave. But our mother could not have known about it so there is no one to blame but our father. 

So usually when our mother had to go to the store to buy some liquor for our father, it was up to me and Anna how would we be treated. 

If we let the smaller kids play around our father, we would get punched or even worse he would punch Leo, Theo or Destiny. I thank the Lord that we were usually around and they did not get beat that much.

So he was an alcoholic bastard and he was violent, mostly towards me, Anna and my mother. When I was little this did not happen at all. I remember that I played around with him and we had amazing time. 

But as his mother died, things changed and he started getting these bad days more and more and we could not do anything about them but that year when I faced my end, things started to get out of hands.

Our mother was always really close to leave, but she could not have taken all of us with her because our father had all of the money and our mother did not have enough to keep all of us alive and well-feed.

So our father loved kids as long as he had his own mother alive and present. His mother passed away two years after Destiny had born. We kept going with our father for almost five years. That is a long time for family where is only one real parent and six human to look after if we count our father who did not take care of himself most of the time. 

When he was sober we might have had amazing time once in a while but I can not remember those times after the thing that he did to me. I can not forgive him what he did. He got me killed with his own bare hands . He chocked me to death.

But a moment after I was lying there I felt my soul start leaving and it was going up above. After my soul left I recognized that I can still see my family and everything that happens in the earth. 

At first I played with it and I had some stupid ideas like to go to visit Mick Jagger but now I have realized that I could take care of my family and especially my bigger sister as she was getting some problems with teenagers social pressures. 

But now the ages, when I died I was 13 and half years. I died a couple days before Annas birthday so Anna was about to turn 15 years. As the twins are four years younger than me, they were 9 and half years. As I say that we are half of year younger or older it that I was born in the winter and Anna was born in the summer, twins were born in the winter and Destiny was born in the autumn so she was about to turn 8 years.