XXVI. A New Life

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Reed assists me as we climb into the machine, the hydroplane of Mr. Leverett. Once inside, I glance at Reed who's wearing an unreadable expression. His shoulders are slightly slouched in the leather seatings of the plane. The other man, the pilot, jumps easily in the front seat, adjusting his glasses. He throws one look at us before he instructs us to put on the seatbelts. With trembling hands I fasten the buckle.

The pilot turns a key and the motor roars to life. My hands grasp the cushion of the seat firmly, uncertain of what will follow next. As we slowly drift out of the hangar, I cast one, fearful look at Mr. Leverett. The man observes us, with his hands tucked away in his pockets as if he hasn't just condemned us to a life far away from everything we care about. I let my head drop back against the headrest of my seat and close my eyes. Did I make the right choice? Was there anything I could've done differently?

The pilot manoeuvres us through the dense cypresses, careful not to hit low hanging branches or shallow roots. As we approach, egrets and boars disappear and flee back into the safety of the humid greenery that covers every inch of the Great Green. 

The glow of the hangar behind us is gone and we're surrounded by darkness. Two spots, attached to the hull of the plane, illuminate the uneven path before us. A sudden clearing causes our pilot to let out a sigh of relief. It is then that I realize the nerves of the man as he reaches for a handle and starts pushing in several buttons.

The motor of the hydroplane starts to roar even louder, the entire hull shaking with the sudden force. I cast an angsty look at Reed who frowns in confusion. As we're launched forward, his hand grips mine. With clenched fingers, I look forward, seeing the silhouette of a massive cypress loom before us. I shut my eyes and clench my teeth in fear. Reed's grip around my fingers tightens, pressing the wedding band deeper into my skin but the fear of crashing with the bayou is so overwhelming I can't register the pain.

The hull shakes and groans, fighting a force I cannot see. Suddenly the shaking stops. The crash I am waiting for, doesn't happen. Confused, I open an eye only to see a black canvas through the front window. I look at Reed who's staring at the scenery below. I follow his gaze and see the Drysdale Plantation. The light that is streaming through the windows illuminates the dark swamp that surrounds it. A gasp escapes me as my gaze focuses on something else. Tugging at Reed's hand I force him to look into the same direction.

A beacon of light emerges from New Paris on our right. The tram that departs from the Distribute Dock carries on steadily, probably carrying our friends back home. Behind the shimmering glow of New Paris, lights are bobbing on a solid black surface which I realize is the Creek and the harbor.

"It's beautiful." I whisper.

Reed stiffens behind me, letting go of my hand. When I look back at him, I see the tired look in his eyes. He tries to swipe it away by quickly running his hand over his face, but I've already seen the emotions displayed in his dark brown eyes. Behind the guilt and anger, laced beneath the confusion and regret, lies raw sadness. Although he despises the people of New Paris, hates who they became, he belongs here. Now, because of my choices, he is forced to leave everything he knows behind.

I don't dare to say a word, afraid that there are no good ones. Would Reed understand my reasons? Would he see that when I chose, I didn't see another way out?

He turns his head away from the scenery, away from me and gazes into the solid darkness outside and below us.

"I wish this never happened." I mutter, trying to fill this void I am feeling for not knowing what Reed is thinking. When he was missing, I imagined our reunion to be a happy one. But as we're both feeling miserable over what we're leaving behind, it's hard to fathom anything happy coming from my choice.

"It wouldn't have if I informed you right away." Reed suddenly says, his eyes still locked on the night sky outside the hydroplane. Uncertain of how to reply, I swallow. By doing so, giving the silence a chance to settle uncomfortably between us.

"Belle," Reed breaks the silence and turns to look at me. Not knowing what else to do, I gawk at him. His face is hidden in the shadows of the darkness outside. A brim of light every now and then quickly showing a glimpse of his features. Underneath his strong eyebrows, his dark eyes shimmer with emotion, built up the last few days.

"Don't feel sorry for what has happened." He says, reaching for my hand. "This was never your responsibility, but solely mine."

"I thought," he continues, releasing my hand to run it quickly through his hair "I thought I was protecting you. Hell, I thought I had it all under control!" He suddenly grunts, pressing his hand against his eyes. "I couldn't risk endangering you but that's exactly what I did. Even more, I risked your sister's safety! I screwed up."

The pilot glances back at us, but I ignore him completely as the calculated man in front of me suffers from a turmoil of emotions.

"And for what?" he whispers "Because I was too proud, too self-assured that I could solve Banner's death all by myself? I was certain the Drysdales were behind it! And I was still wrong!" He clenches his fists and slams them against his thighs.

His breathing comes out uneven as he tries to hide the stubborn tears that slowly descend his unshaven cheeks. They roll over his stubble, ignorant of the scar that graces his left cheek. His tongue darts over his trembling lip ever so quickly that hadn't a sudden piece of light illuminated him that very moment, I would've never seen.

Steadying myself in my seat, I reach over to him and grab his hands. "Reed, please." I say, begging him to look at me. With his dark eyes filled with regret, it's hard to ignore the pounding in my chest. Unable to think about anything else, I inch closer, afraid of the words I dare not to say. 

"I've missed you so." I whisper instead, releasing his hands and cupping his face. Our foreheads touch. His shaking breath vans over me, reminding me of those nights where he held me close and the mornings were he kissed me awake. My thumb runs over his wet cheeks.

"I am so relieved to have you back. I care so much about you. God, I thought I was going to lose without ..." I hesitate. 'I didn't realize I..." my words are incoherent just like my thoughts. But as so many times before, Reed helps me out. His lips crash onto mine, with a hunger I have never experienced before. Fear and regrets dull to the background as relief floods both of us. Relief that even when the future is blurred and unclear, at least we have each other.

"I love you." It's said before I can even register the words leaving my treacherous lips.

Reed pulls away, a shimmer of happiness glistening in the darkness of his eyes. "I love you too, Belle. But something tells me, you already knew." He leans back in. Our foreheads touch.

"I ruined everything, Belle, but I promise I will make things right."

I nod, overwhelmed by both emotions and fatigue. 

"No more secrets?" I whisper, my voice barely audible over the roaring of the engine.

"No more secrets." Reed replies, letting my head rest on his shoulder after he places a tender kiss on my forehead.

"I've done nothing to deserve your love, Belle, but I'll prove myself for you."

With a grin he mutters,

"This time, I will fix this." 

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