the pact | six.

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Cassandra

It felt like I'd gotten the wind knocked out of me.

I stared at Bryce in disbelief, letting go of his hands almost immediately. My mind was going in a thousand different directions, and I couldn't settle on any specific thought except for the one that had hit me right in the face: Bryce has feelings for me.

No, this wasn't a dream. I wasn't imagining it. All those months, years maybe, of wondering if he felt the same way—those questions had finally been answered. Only at the worst time that they possibly could be.

"Are you serious?" Bryce finally spoke, looking just as shocked as I felt.

"Are you serious?" I shot back at him. "Because if you are, then–"

"No, Cassandra, no. That's not how this is going to work." He cut me off and I could see his expression harden. "You're moving? And you just decided to tell me now? What the hell?"

"It's not like I made my decision already!" I said quickly. "But I've been thinking about it ever since I got the call yesterday, and like I said, what you told me in the car about being brave, that was the extra push I needed."

"Yeah, but I didn't say to get the hell out of Dodge!" His voice rose in volume, angrily running his fingers through his hair. "Why are you doing this? Why now?"

I knew he was upset, and I hated that I was the reason for it. Hated that everything I wanted to say, I just couldn't without upsetting him even more. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I plowed on. "Because my mom is sick, Bryce. I can't stand being all these miles away while she's suffering. And I know she has Dad and Aaron, but it just isn't the same. Knowing that she's maybe months away from death, how can you expect me to just sit idly by?"

"I'm not expecting anything, okay? I just..." Bryce sighed heavily, leaned his head against the wall. "I don't want you to rush into anything. I get it, you want to be close to your mom, but what about the life you've built in DC? The connections, the opportunities...and what about your dream of becoming a sports journalist? Can you really do that like you want to here?"

My head felt like a spinning top. I didn't want to make any rash decisions, and Bryce made a convincing argument. Then there was the matter of Bryce's confession. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything in the first place...

"I thought we were best friends." He mumbled after I still hadn't answered his question.

I frowned. "Why would this stop us from being best friends? I told you before I told my family, Bryce. Our relationship isn't going away anytime soon."

"You know what I mean, Cass." He touched my hand gently, intertwined our fingers. "You know how close we are. I can't imagine only being able to see you four times a year, if that."

"Oh well, looks like you got me. I've been planning to get away from you for weeks now." I purposefully tinged my tone with sarcasm, hoping to see him crack a smile. He did and it eased the heaviness in my chest a little. I squeezed the hand that held onto mine. "Listen to me. I'm not going anywhere right now. I still have a lot to think about. But what you and I have, it's never gonna change. You can't get rid of me. I love—"

Bryce let out a shaky breath. "Could you not say that right now? Unless you actually mean it."

How dumb was I to think that he wouldn't circle back around to that touchy subject? But it wasn't difficult, I was just making it that way. I knew what I wanted: him, in every capacity. Was I in a good headspace, ready to tell him that? Of course not. 

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