Are you a young girl or guy who wants to be abducted by aliens? Or maybe you're an older person who dreams of finally being probed by little green men? Or perhaps you're a sexy man or woman seeking that special alien someone to begin a long-lasting relationship with?
Well, honey, we've collated all the hottest tips from our knowing team of fashionistas so you can have exactly that happen!
First thing is to get those UFOs watching you, girlfriend! As you might know, aliens love getting their probe on. So, baby, miniskirts and butt-less jeans are your best friends this summer. And remember: no underwear! You want them to beam you up and probe you, not waste time trying to take off your drawers. You don't mess around, honey! You are a strong, independent woman (or man)!
The next tip is for those of you lucky ones who've got an alien prowling the same streets you strut your stuff on. Perfume, girl! Like anyone else, aliens have a sense of smell, and studies have shown there's a certain scent that has them rearing to get all up in your business! Farts, baby! Yes, aliens are aroused by our bowel emissions. But not just any fart will do. You need a fart rich in sulfur, so that means dining more on kale, cauliflower and kohlrabi. Mmm, watercress! Once you're sulficiently sulfurized (see what I did there?), fart in a bottle of water, twist on a spritzer cap and cover yourself in your brand-new perfume!
That concludes the free preview. Subscribe today for the low, low cost of $29.99 (!!!) and we'll give you four (!) more tips to get you an alien mate. But watch out, those aliens will be crawling all over you, beautiful!
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Laugh Attack #1 - My Alien Boyfriend
HumorWelcome to the very first issue of LAUGH ATTACK, a WattZine dedicated to humour! This one's centred around the aliens in our lives, walking among us (whether we know it or not)!
