vanilla // lrh

nineteen

check the link ^^^;)

The heat of his lips was sill unfamiliar, even though he had kissed me once before.

After my head swirling around the fact that this was happening in this very moment, I quickly pushed myself away from his lips.

He stood there, blankly, his eyes fluttering open.

"What the hell, Luke!" I shouted in a whisper, bringing my wrist up to my lips.

"What?" He asked, confused, blinking his eyes several times and slightly pulling away from the countertop.

"Why did you do that?!"

He turned his large frame to the side, slowly pacing back and forth across the small room.

"Answer me!" I hissed at him, and for a second I doubted that it even happened.

"I don't know, okay!" He shouted, forgetting that we were in a small room, and his voice carried. "I don't know."

"I can't do this." I said, stepping down from tbe countertop that he sat me on top of.

"Ellie-"

"Stop fucking calling me that." I told him sternly, turning to face him.

"You don't get to call me that and kiss me and then say we aren't even fucking friends. Fuck you." I swore, all of my emotions climaxing, as I watched his drunken face sigh.

In one swift movement, I opened and shut the door behind me, taking a deep breath as I stepped out.

What the hell just happened?

My eyes fell on Ashton, in the same spot in the kitchen that Luke pointed out earlier, and made my way over to him.

His dimpled smile grew at the sight of me, and I could see the toxicity thaf laced through his hazel eyes.

"Eloise! How the heck are ya, love?" He welcomed, wrapping his arm around my shoulders for a side hug.

"I need a drink." I said breathlessly, causing a chuckle from Ashton.

"How about a shot?" He asked, the people around him that were just listening to his voice so intently beginning their own conversations.

"Shots anyone!?" Ashton yelled, as the attention quickly dived back into him.

Ashton loved the attention.

He turned to the alcohol bottles sitting on the island adjacent from us, and began to pour glasses.

"How many for you, El?" He asked, not breaking his action.

"Enough to get me hammered." I laughed, as he collected the glasses with his long fingers, and held them out for me.

"One at a time though," He chuckled, as I reached for the first glass.

I quickly threw it into my mouth, plugging my nose with my other hand, attempting to hide the toxic taste.

I hated drinking.

I sat the glass on the island, and one after another let 4 more shots of alcohol into my bloodstream.

"Hell yeah!" Ashton cheered. "You ready to have fun?"

I didn't like that Ashton seemed to feel the only time you could ever have real fun is if you were drinking. But maybe just tonight, he would be right.

"I need to talk to Sawyer." I suddenly remembered, the memory of his tear stained eyes slowly haunting me.

"Big muscles? Gapped tooth?" Ashton asked, and I nodded.

"He's on the couch with Calum, I think."

I turned toward the living room, where Sawyer sat on the edge, body slouched, and Calum sat on the opposite side, talking.

I shuffled through the crowd, finding myself quickly standing in front of them.

"Eloise. I didn't think you'd actually find me, or even look," Sawyer laughed, but the laugh was sad, his cheery spirit was no where to be found.

"Of course," I said, taking a seat next to him. "Hi, Calum."

"Hey!" Calum smiled.

He was cute. Not in a cute like you'd want to lick his face way, but in the same way a baby or a puppy was cute.

"We were just talking about you." Calum said, the small grin never leaving his lips.

"No we weren't," Sawyer spat. "We were talking about how much of a fucking loser I am."

"Oh, Sawyer, you're not a loser," I told him.

I'd never seen him like this.

"You're just saying that," He retorted. "People just say that to be nice."

"That isn't true." I argued, as Calum nodded in agreement.

"Why can't someone just tell me the truth? Why won't anyone say 'Sawyer you're a loser. You're 25 years old and have still never kissed a fucking girl.'"

I was beginning to find myself falling into his words. I had to focus to understand everything he was saying.

Twenty-five?

Never kissed a girl?

"You've never kissed a girl?" I blurted, in confusion.

"You're 25?" I continued, I couldn't stop the words from coming out.

He nodded solemnly, pouting like a child.

"You can kiss me." I said, without realizing what I was saying before it fell out of my mouth.

"Really?" He perked.

"Eloise I don't-" I heard Calum start from next to me, but his words muffled out as I leaned over and slammed my tongue into Sawyer's mouth.

I didn't know why I was doing what I was doing, or even realized that I was doing it, until I heard the oh so familiar shout of Luke Hemmings.

"Are you fucking with me?!"

I quickly turned away from Sawyer's face, and my eyes shot up to Luke, who was standing hot and heavy over us, fists clenched.

"Hey, Luke-"

"Who the fuck are you?" Luke interrupted Sawyer, leaning over to grab Sawyer's shirt, lifting him off the couch and onto the floor.

"Luke-"

"She thinks you're a square. We all think you're a fucking square! Why the fuck are you sticking your square fucking tongue down her throat?"

The room around me was beginning to twirl slightly, what was happening it front of me seemed like I was watching a movie scene.

"She kissed me, actually," Sawyer explained, his voice attempting to sound confident, but the fear that he had for Luke was evident in each syllable.

"Just go to your stupid gym and make out with the punching bags, yeah?" Luke hissed, releasing Sawyer's shirt from his grip.

Sawyer nodded, immediately heading off in the opposite direction.

"Luke, man, what the hell?" Calum said, and I recognized that was probably the first time I ever heard Calum swear. He was so polite.

Luke ignored Calum completely. His breath was heavy, his hand was running angrily through his hair, and I noticed a thick blue vein in his forearm.

"Eloise. Your house. Now."

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this is up super quick but im just so excited to be writing this aaaaaa