I've been living in a speechless world for 17, Going-On-18, years. At least 12 of those years have been spent with my peers. They all know my story, but none of them know me.
When I was one year old, my parents were waiting for the day I would say my first word. When I was 2, everyone, even doctors, said, "Oh, she's just a late bloomer. She'll talk eventually." But when I was three, the chances of me ever talking were slim to none. No one knows why I can't talk. When I was four, the doctors did a few tests on me to see if I was mute. I wasn't. I have the capability to talk (apparently), but I just don't. My birth-mother always got so frustrated with me. She wanted me to talk; she wanted to hear her baby's first words. She wanted to get me to say 'mama' or 'dada', so something that resembled a word. But I never did. In all other areas of life, I was fine. I walked across a room when I was two, and I knew what the words my parents kept saying to me meant, but when they said "Why can't you talk?!" I had no answer.
So, this is my first day as a Senior in my high school. I wasn't very excited; I was the opposite, actually. Most people my age love school because they can socialize with their friends, sing in a choir, or learn to speak different languages. But, of course, I get to be the girl who can't do any of that.
I was at my bus stop at 6:36 a.m., and was on my bus a minutes later. We always had assigned seats on our bus; my spot was right behind the bus driver and I sat next to no one. I'm not sure if she did this for me or for my fellow riders, but it was appreciated either way. I sat in my normal seat, after nodding to Ms. Sharon, our bus driver. This was our normal greeting. I've known her since I was in 2nd grade. I put my bag on the seat next to me, put in my head phones and listened to 'Jar of Hearts' by Christina Perri. This year, the school district's budget was cut, so that meant the buses were cut, too. We had twice as many kids on our bus. Some people sat three to a seat of avoid sitting next to me. I don't really mind though, I've gotten used to it. I'm just not sure why they do that; it's not like I'm contagious.
The last stop was right next to the school, and I'm not sure why the people at that stop don't just walk. As we stopped, I saw there was only one kid at the stop, and I didn't recognize him. He climbed on the bus, and looked for a seat. He looked at me and I half smiled and moved my bag. He put his hand out and started saying something, but I couldn't hear because Christina Perri was blasting in my ear. I took out my headphone and he laughed, saying, "I'm Nate. Nate Pearson." I half smiled again and put my headphone back in. I hated when people tried to introduce themselves to me and expect me to answer. Sure this guy was the hottest I've seen in a while, with his blond hair, gorgeous blue eyes and incredible smile, but there was no other choice than to be rude to him. He waved a hand in my face and I took my ear bud out again as he said, "Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Let me try again." He cleared his throat and said, putting out his hand again, "I'm Nate Pearson." I shook his hand and put my ear bud back in. I looked over at Nate, who was just staring at me. As we got up to the school, and Ms. Sharon let us out, I saw Nate talking to someone. He looked over at me and I got off the bus.
I hate attention. I try to not make a big deal out of my 'disability'. Although, I only make a show of it with Susanne, because I know how mad it makes her. People always try to pity me. I almost hate pity more than attention. When I'm out of high school, I want to go out into the world and show everyone that just because I'm not like everyone else, it doesn't mean I can't make something out of myself.
I walked to my first class, I walked to my first class, A.P. Photoshop, and sat at a computer in the back. I've been taking Photoshop since Freshmen year, but I'm especially excited for Advanced Placement because it's Photoshop and Photography combined. In this class, we photoshop our own picture. In past years, we just learned how to add text, or make a square, or something along those lines. But this year, Photoshop is going to be epic.
At least, that's what I thought. Until Nate walked in.
