Invisible

4

ASHTON
Instead of working on my assignment during music theory, I decide to talk to someone in the class. Thinking that will lighten up the boringness of this particular day in this class.

I felt a pair of eyes on me, then remembered the boy I had talked to previously today sits in the back of the class. He couldn't be staring at me, though. Could he? The thought made my stomach churn in a familiar way that offered bitter memories.

Thinking about it, it's pretty peculiar that I never noticed he was in this class before today. I also didn't really know anyone that knew him, at least off the top of my head.

I decide to turn and see if he was really the set of eyes I had felt. Sure enough, he was. A sly grin on my face as his stare met mine.

"Hey, uh Luke, right?" I feel myself say with more confidence then I actually had.

I see him freeze up after my question. His stare broke, and with a stutter he replies.

"Y-yeah."

I decide to just make small talk. Nothing too
interesting but the matter at hand. Y'know, that I hadn't actually wanted to do my work.

"How much of your song do you have done?" I ask with a cautious but pretentious tone. I can tell my words make him quiver slightly.

-

Before either of us knew it, what had remained of the hour had gone by quickly. Our conversation abruptly ending as the ringing of the PA system of the school sounds.

"Guess that our cue. They want us to get out, just as much as they encourage us to come," I chuckle at the irony in my statement.

"Yeah, I guess," Luke says with a light giggle. He looks like he's having an inner conflict about something. He finally blurts with an unsure look on his face, "I'll see you around?"

"Yeah, definitely," I say, making his face instantly light back up and a smile grow.

I walk out of the class and to my locker. The truth is I do want to talk to him again, but if any of my "friends" were in that class, I wouldn't be seen talking to someone who's a nobody. I have too much to risk, to possibly end up where I was on the social ladder only a year ago.

The thought of the tall boy makes my cheeks heat up. Without thinking, a smile appears next to the light blush on my cheeks.

My mind and feet wander all the same down to my favorite cafe. It's half a bookstore, half a coffee house. The smell of vanilla lattes fill the air.

I'm glad no one from school, at least anyone that matters, would see me in such a setting. I don't let anyone see that I'm actually a nerd and a bookworm. No one can see me get excited over a good book.

No one can see me as anything but the big, tough, popular, jock that I've made my peers see me as.

I get a mint chocolate mocha then shuffle through the teen fiction section of the store. My eyes skim over a couple that catch my eye. I see one in particular and pull it aside.

Sitting down to read it, I discover the main character is a bisexual boy, and was happy to read yet another story that positively portrayed the lgbt+ community in a way I had not been used to. I was also glad no one here actually cares about me reading a book like this. Imagine what rumors they could spread.

Still anxiety always filled me when I was here. That someone from school would see me and be able to tell people I'm not at all who they think I am.

Everything that made me, well me, was taken away and ripped apart. Everything about me was ruined. I'll never let it happen again, at any cost. However, I made a vow to never let anyone take away who I really am even if it means I have to hide it.

-

A couple hours pass and I decide to head "home". I didn't want to be out after dark, or I'd get attacked with "where were you"'s from my foster parents. They wouldn't be happy because I "ruined their day" as famously quoted by them. Whatever. They aren't my real parents, I couldn't care less.

Sometimes, they can be chill. And by which I mean, not caring where I am or what I'm doing. Other times it's all about how they're supposed to take care of me and they can't do that when I don't follow the rules.

It doesn't matter anyways.

I'm home before them today. Which is always a plus. I go into my room and take out my outdated iPhone. Laying down, I plug in my head phones and drown out my worries with Gerard Way singing into my ears about how he has pain. It makes me not feel so alone.

Eventually, my eyes drift and my mind wanders. The tired brain I inhabit is about to sleep and I think about a particular blond boy that would soon fill my dreams. Whether I liked it or not.