No Expectations [Keith Richards & Brian Jones]

VII. You can't always get what you want

Whoever had known Marianne Faithful in the 60's, could immediately hear that "You can't always get what you want" was about her- no she was the song. Mick and Keith's songwriting never was on the same level of a Bob Dylan or a Leonard Cohen, but they had a different quality. They captured people. Every time I heard the song, I nearly could picture Marianne next to me once more and immediately felt set back in time... At first I was glad to be reunited with my old friends in a way until I couldn't stand the guilt anymore and empty tequila bottles started to fill my room. It would have been easy to blame the 60's- they weren't called the swinging 60's for nothing, and announce her as another victim of the time, but I couldn't. There were drugs everywhere surely, and if Bo, Lana and I hadn't met the Stones, they would have found somebody else, but they haven't and I had no other choice than to feel guilty about Marianne's fate, which could have easily been mine as well.

Lana often joked that Marianne, Anita and I could have been sisters and how all the Stones seemed to love the same type of women- who had a strong resemblance to Brian. I don't know if Mick or even Keith ever realised that they felt attracted to girls that looked like their band mate - if they had, they would probably have left them on the spot. Brian was the only one who never made a secret out of it. Suki once said Brian was the only woman Brian was in love with and I think in a way she was right. Like Narcissus, Brian seemed to have fallen in love with his own reflection, and chased after girls with blond hair, who looked as if they could have been his female alter ego. Anita was the most obvious. She was his lover, his partner, his doppelganger- even himself in a way. Same hair, same clothes, same height- Anita was Brian's mirror image and her betrayal ripped him apart. I can't imagine how heart breaking it must have been for him to play autoharp on "You got the silver"- a love song by a friend, he had trusted, about the woman he loved, but had left him for said friend. I never managed to like the song, because it always sounded too much of betrayal in my ears.

To be fair neither had I liked Anita very much. Marianne had been sweet, welcoming, but Anita from the moment her eyes had fallen on Lana and me, she had seen in us nothing more than a danger. Anita was a predator and didn't tolerate anyone next to her. There is only enough room for one Queen on a throne after all. Ironically Lana had nearly the same animalistic need to be the "alpha female". She was a strong personality and didn't let anyone boss her around. Anita was perhaps the Queen of the Rolling Stones, but Lana was "the darling of the discotheque crowd" as Mick (or had it been Keith?) had described her.

"Miss Amanda Jones" was Lana, there was no doubt about it and I think she never forgave Mick and Keith. The song was raunchy and obscene, especially compared to the fragile "Ruby Tuesday" Keith had written for Linda Keith. What upset Lana the most was the upper class heritage bit though, because it was an obvious jibe at her. She was rather illiterate, but  pretended she was sophisticated, which often failed and ended up being laughed at. Lana hated it and despised Mick and Keith for eternalising her as the " little girl (that) just wanders about".

It was more than I got though at that time. I was one line in "Miss Amanda Jones"- "And the girl behind you looks a bit unsure". Lana claimed "Complicated" was about me, but I couldn't feel myself in the song. It just wasn't me or maybe I really was too complicated to see it for myself. As far as I'm aware Keith- the Rolling Stones only ever wrote one song about me and that wasn't released until August 1968.