No Expectations [Keith Richards & Brian Jones]

V. I Can't Explain

The Who, was the band who started it all. 

Without meeting them it's hard to say where we might have ended up. My money would have been on "dead- overdosed in some shitty flat". We never expected to get old as probably  most people at that time did. "I hope I die before I get old" wasn't just a phrase of our generation, it was an anthem, our most sacred wish- not to get old, lead a tedious life and conform to the social norms of our parents. 

In the end it turned out to be for a majority nothing more than a rebellious phase and they went all back to the old ways- marriage, children and death. They became the people they once despised, so that their children could revolt against them and start the circle all over again. A system that had worked for societies for generations and probably will work for many more to come. At least to the winners. 

Neither Lana, Bo nor I were what you might exactly could call casualties of this system, but in a way we still were. Lana by choice and because of her self destructive nature, Bo had been forced by a bad decision and I? I had been pushed over the edge by people I should have been able to trust. There was no lifeline for us and we all had sooner or later accepted that one day would come, where we would free fall into our demise and die young. I can't remember who of us first said it, but it later on became something of a mantra for us:  Live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse.  

 Maybe we were outside of society, but that wasn't a reason not to enjoy yourself as long as it lasted, was it?

*

No interview, article or anything else I've ever read, did Keith Moon justice. You couldn't describe him, you had to witness him. He was a larger than life sort of person, who like Lana always chased after the next big rush, not caring what or who ended up hurt or destroyed along the way. Life was just one big party to them and it wasn't surprising they immediately bonded.

It wasn't as if I or the others didn't have our own path of destruction, but Lana and Keith's was on a whole different level.

I had never heard about the Who, when Bo brought us to their concert and therefore I had no idea what I was supposed to expect and neither did the others. Lana seemed unhappy, sulking the whole time during the ride in Bo's car- The Who whoever they were, weren't who she wanted in that moment, but as soon as we stepped into the venue, her expression changed. It was surprisingly crowded indicating the band probably was more known than she had expected. Her face seemed intrigued and when they took the stage and started their first song Lana's opinion had completely changed. 

 The music was loud, very loud, wild and simply so Lana. 

Bo's frown told me he had come to the same conclusion, though his face softened when he saw Lana's eyes sparkle. They might have been noting exclusive, yet Bo loved her deeply and he never wanted anything more than to make her smile and her eyes shine from happiness. Sometimes it made me very envious, yet I never figured out of what I was more envious of, of Lana who was loved or of Bo who loved her so much. Probably a mixture of both. Though I believed myself to be in love with Keith Richards at the time, there was no real love of that sort in my life. Keith wasn't anything more than a stupid fantasy and every other men I had been with had always been just a physical relationship... Even with Lana it was black and white. We shared a bed sometimes, but I knew we would never be more than friends. She had Bo after all and I would never have forgiven myself if I had taken away the person he loved the most anyway. Bo was like family- a brother I never had, but always missed.