Eighteen Seconds Until Sunrise |||POETRY|||

Be Here

Why did you smile back then?
When I said that you were my favourite?
I don't mean anything to you,
Nor do my thoughts and feelings.
Don't lie to me and say I do,
Because you'd be here if you did.

You leave for months,
Come back and act like it's nothing.
Five months have gone by,
And everyday still I cry.
Don't act like you care,
Because you'd be here if you did.

Dancing with you was all I ever wanted,
And I even got my wish granted.
Three whole days,
You stayed by my side.
But then you said you loved me,
But then you left again.
Don't pretend like you need me,
Because you'd be here if you did.

Why do you get so violent?
Whenever another guy expresses interest?
I can roast them myself,
But I do appreciate the help.
Wolves have always made me feel safe,
Except those two times you shattered me.
Don't act like you want to fix me,
Because you'd be here if you did.

What's with that new song you like?
Who is treating you like a ghost?
I hope you can see the irony,
Because those lyrics are every emotion I'm feeling.
Stop yelling at me to hate you,
We both know it's something I could never do.
Even after five months,
I still wait for you everyday.

I want to tell you how much I still love you,
How much I still need you.
I can't even breathe without you.
But you'll never hear these words,
You'll never hear the voice leave my lips.

Don't pretend.

Not anymore.

The entire time you building higher walls,
While I was taking mine down.
It hurts so much more than I thought it would,
Even after five fucking months.

Why am I cursed with this persistent one sided love?
Why can't I bring myself to scorn your damn name?
Why?!

Am I a bad person that deserves this pain?
Everyday is filled with agony,
The sensation of my heart writhing in misery.
But what's truly pathetic is that I'd do it all over again.

Pieter Pan went back to Neverland,
Or maybe he didn't ever even leave?
Because you'd be here with me now if you did.

You won't even be here to watch me drown.